There’s love and there’s attachment. Is there a difference? Definitely. Still, when it comes to relationships, they go hand-in-hand. Depending on your personality (and maybe even your zodiac sign…), your love style and your attachment type are nearly one and the same.
There are 3 types of attachment – Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant – and 6 styles of love – Agape, Eros, Ludus, Mania, Pragma and Storge. Your attachment type is very simply how you handle love in a relationship while your love style is what you do with that love.
If your attachment type is Secure, then you might also love like Storge or Ludus.
For Storge, you like commitment. You enjoy that closeness with another person, whether if that may be in a friendship or a relationship. Trust and intimacy are the biggest factors for you in a relationship. You tend to be Secure in a relationship because you’re fairly confident in that closeness and trust you have with someone.
For Ludus, you see love as a game that you intend on winning. You’re usually emotionally distant and you probably favor physical attraction more than anything else on a deeper level. You tend to be Secure in your relationships (or, hookups, I mean) because you know how to get what you want and you know that whatever you’re doing works.
If your attachment type is Anxious, then you might also love like Mania or Agape.
For Mania, your emotional dependency is mostly you just desperately wanting reassurance. You want to feel secure. You want to love and be loved so bad it hurts. You’re Anxious in your relationships because you obsess over that need to be secure, safe, needed, wanted, and everything in between.
For Agape, you are very caring and giving but you probably have doubts that you’re not caring or giving enough. Insecurity will be the best of you, while you slip into the same relationship patterns that make you nervous in the first place. You’re Anxious in your relationships because you’re a selfless lover that is concerned your unconditional love isn’t enough.
If your attachment type is Avoidant, then you might love like Eros or Pragma.
There are two kinds of Avoidant – Fearful and Dismissive.
For Eros, you are very intense. Every moment in your relationship is like the honeymoon stage. You’re just so passionate and somewhat aggressive, honestly. You are (Dismissive) Avoidant because you’re concerned people aren’t good enough for you and you’re willing to be independent until someone proves their worth to you.
For Pragma, you lead with your mind more than with your heart. Logic and reason > emotions and feelings. You tend to use logic to follow through on emotions and to prove your compatibility with someone. You are (Fearful) Avoidant because you are simply afraid of those feelings that come with a relationship.
Maybe you relate to this, or maybe you don’t. Your capacity for intimacy is mostly up to you.