Imagine watching someone on their first date.
Yeah, with all the awkward silences, the faces each person makes when they realize how different they are, the moments when they realize that maybe they’re a lot more sync than they realized, the first kiss.
With Netflix’s new show Dating Around, you see it all, in its rawness and authenticity. The most real part of this show, though, is that in every episode, the truths comes out.
1. If a man feels the need to interrupt you and belittle you, show him the door.
Watching this scene made me cringe. I felt angry, frustrated, impatient. I felt what she felt when he interrupted her, when he belittled her, and made her feel guilty and worthless.
If a man tells you that you’re wrong and what you’ve done and what you’re doing is bad, understand that this is his way of mansplaining. He is belittling you. Don’t let him make you shrink. Be like Gurki and tell him, “thanks but no thanks,” and show him the door.
2. Sometimes you just don’t connect with people and that’s okay.
Let’s be honest: with nearly every first date we go on, we secretly hope the person is the one for us. Sometimes we tend to (unknowingly) force a connection with someone because we so badly want the person to be our person.
It’s okay if you don’t connect with someone. Maybe it’s them or maybe it’s you, but whatever the case: you don’t need to force yourself to like someone. Even Leonard, after being married, losing his wife, and putting himself out there again, he knows that you can’t force something if it’s not there.
3. Be honest with yourself and your date and communicate.
If he says, “relax,” you can be like Sarah and say “here’s some advice: never tell a woman to relax.” If he makes inappropriate sex jokes, you can be like Sarah and say “no,” and leave the date.
If he asks to see you again and you’re not necessarily feeling a connection with him, that’s okay! Tell him, “you’re a nice man, but no thank you.” Even if he’s nice, you don’t have to force yourself to see him again. It’s okay to say no.
If your date does or says something that you don’t agree with, you have to communicate with them and let them know how you feel. If you’re having a good time, maybe tell them that–I’m sure it’ll be reassuring.
If a date doesn’t work out, that’s okay, because it didn’t work out for a reason beyond your control. Instead of wondering “what if,” think about all that free time you’ll have for self care: shop, take a bath, read that book or watch that show you’ve been meaning to get to, eat something you’ve been craving.
There will be plenty of first dates in the future, so for now, treat yourself.