This Is What I Learned About 'Mosting' And Why It's So Much Worse Than Ghosting

This Is What I Learned About ‘Mosting’ And Why It’s So Much Worse Than Ghosting

Let’s be real here: there’s a difference between distancing yourself from someone and ghosting them.

Ghosting is when you spend time with someone you’re romantically involved in and they vanish from your life completely. Whether if the relationship lasts a night, a few days, or a few weeks to a month, there’s always one person who does the ghosting.

Mosting, on the other hand, is when someone comes on a little too strong just before eventually ghosting.

They do The Most. They are kind and warm. They shower you with compliments and even gifts. They try to convince you that you’re The One. But that’s just what they want you to think, because out of nowhere, they’ll just walk away. 

Mosting is a new thing for me. I’ve been ghosted by guys more times than I can count, to the point that I’ve gotten used to it. Is that sad? Embarrassing? Frustrating? For sure. Getting ghosted doesn’t hurt nearly as much as getting mosted.

In my experience, these guys more or less convinced me I was their person. They wanted to spend all of their time with me and they proved that. They gave me the attention I wanted. I imagined a future with them because they told me there was one. They flattered me because they knew that would make me want them.

I asked some of the guys who mosted me why they did what they did. I wanted to know what their reasoning was for leading me on and then leaving me high and dry.

Some of them wanted a relationship, but then changed their mind. Some found themselves getting invested into the relationship without coming to terms with their inability to be emotionally intimate.

Whatever the excuse, they still mosted.

They came, they saw, they conquered.

They blindsided me and left me with an ache in my chest.

They made me question whether or not I was worthy of being loved.

They made me doubt myself, and that’s what hurt me the most.

Brooklyn-based poet, writer, avid coffee drinker, and music lover.

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