What Happens When We Repress Our Sexuality?

Arnoldas Kubilius

Some would say that it is a good idea to repress our sexuality… within ourselves.. and within society as a whole… We fear its power. We fear what choices people would make if they were free. We fear that everything would fall into chaos or something… Hmmm…

But what actually happens when we repress it?

1. Something dies inside of us

Our sexual energy is our life force. It is our prana, our chi, our spirit, the energy that courses through our bodies when we play sports, go to work, create art, read a book, and definitely make love. This creative, sexual energy can drive us to make babies, write symphonies, start running, or just simply be happy that we woke up this morning.

But when it is repressed, controlled, or put in a box, something dies… We have less energy, less joy in life, less innocence, less optimism and less desire to try new things.

2. The energy twists into something else

Because this is our life energy, it must keep flowing… When a river gets blocked by something, the water WILL find another route. The water is there. There is pressure to keep it flowing. And so it will quickly or slowly find another route.

Similarly with us… Maybe it turns into an addiction to porn or prostitution. Maybe it becomes anger and bitterness. Maybe it becomes a shopping addiction or an obsession about how one looks. But one way or another, that stifled energy will find a way out… But because it isn’t flowing out in a natural, easy way, the path will be destructive and not a positive one.

3.We default to procreative sex

Unfortunately, the only thing that most kids learn growing up is “Don’t have sex. And if you do, use protection.” That’s it.

Luckily for us, there is a primal urge to procreate. And also luckily the parts needed to procreate respond on cue. The parts all fit together.. And THERE! They’ve had sex. And it’s…. ok… I guess…

As we grow older, we might learn a few tricks about how to pleasure a partner and how to gain more pleasure ourselves… But the main framework is the same… And sometimes it’s great… But oftentimes it’s just ok … or not ok at all considering how many issues there are in society with impotence, frigidity, premature ejaculation, lack of sex drive, lack of female orgasms… etc..

4. We Never Learn What We Are Actually Capable of

We are designed for MUCH more than procreative sex.

Our sexual energy can bring us to heights of pleasure that are far beyond what we can imagine.

That energy can be passed between partners to create bonds that make us feel truly secure, connected, and complete – within the relationship and within ourselves.

When we approach sexuality in a sacred way, it can heal our deepest wounds. It can truly heal a broken spirit.

This energy can actually regenerate us and give us amazing amounts of energy for days afterwards.

It can even give us an experience of the divine…

And What happens when we embrace our sexuality?

We have abundant energy and life force flowing through our beings!

We love life. We are optimistic. We are creative and are simply happy that we got to wake up this morning!

Our paths are straight. No twists in the road. We can see clearly what we are doing. No hidden agendas.

Our relationships are rich. Our sexual experiences energize and connect us.

We get to experience divine energy in our physical bodies and all aspects of our lives. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog