To The Future Love Of My Life

Please bear with me when at first I seem to close up whenever you try to reach out. I have had my heart broken one, two, many times and understand that it’s hard for me to trust but I will do my best to love you with all my heart.

Please bear with my anxiety attacks. Yes, I have those moments when I will suddenly stay still and be stuck, needing some room and air. I’m the type of person who feels the world and when things get too much, please don’t leave. Just talk to me and hold my hand, I will recover easily.

Please bear with my sweetness. Others might say that I do everything I can to make someone happy and I love pleasing them. I hope you won’t feel suffocated when I try to surprise you with something or send you good morning and goodnight texts and call you once in a while. It’s just my way of showing how important you are.

Please bear with my distance. As I am a loving person who can be very clingy one time, I also want my space and independence. It doesn’t mean I don’t like spending time with you, but I also know that we are two independent human beings with their own work and life to grow to.

Please bear with my peculiarity. I am not like most girls who like to dress up and be fancy. I’m just a simple woman who enjoys my weekends with a book and a cup of tea or coffee, yet I can also plan a spontaneous adventure when I feel likely.

Please bear with my smart mouth. Sometimes I just feel like I want to talk endlessly about things, people, places and everything. I don’t want the shallow conversations which are boring. I want to fathom the depths of your soul, to kiss your fears and help you face your own demons.

Please bear with my photographic eye. I always see beauty in everything no matter how irrelevant it may seem to people. I might snap a picture of you without even noticing, or even doing something. I like to document the moments where I can also keep it in my drive and especially in my heart.

Please bear with me when I ask you to be my subject. Painting you would be something I would pour my heart out. As an artist, I treasure every work that I had done and painting someone is like giving them a part of me that I wouldn’t dare give just to anyone.

Please bear with me if I prefer museums, galleries, parks, bookstores, theaters and coffee shops instead of going in a party. I can socialize with people and hangout but I believe you can really get to know them by going to quiet places instead of the blasting noises. Nevertheless, you can drag me into a party just a few times.

Please bear with my silence. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows with me. I am a hurricane most of the time ― lost in my deep thoughts. I will only be silent when I’m disappointed, sad and angry. The best thing to do during these times is to just listen to me. You will be my resort and haven in this world.

Please bear with my rants. Yes! I rant. I complain. I sometimes yell when I’m annoyed. It’s important to me that I can let my feelings out in the open, less anxiety, less questions and sooner I can think clearly. Don’t try to argue with me during these moments but offer advice and calm me down.

Please bear when I want you to argue with me. Yes. I want us to argue (whenever necessary though). I don’t want the silent war between us. I have been there and I know where it ends ― self-loathing. So please, if I’m being a bitch or a child sometimes please don’t hesitate to call me out. I want to know how you’re feeling and whatever you will say. I will also argue with you but I will try my best to have a conversation where we won’t have to raise our voices.

Please bear with me in a lot of things as I am not easy to be with, but I also promise you tons of things.

I promise to support you in your goals in life no matter how twisted they may be. I know you’re in for success and there’s a lot of greatness within you. I will stand by your dreams.

I promise to trust you with my heart. Yes it has been broken before but I completely know that you will take care of it and in your hands I trust with safety and security.

I promise to respect you in any aspect of your life; to every decision you will make, paths you will take, and everything that comes with it. I know you can do anything.

I promise to love you with all I have. I have been alone for too long to have loved myself enough and now I’m willing to share it with you. I’m ready to give my everything to you. As I knew you will love me in return with the same magnitude, things will be rocky and bumpy along the way but I promise you I’m worth it.

This is worth it.