When we think of certain character traits that we deem unacceptable in a partner, we each have things we will and will not accept. Most of us can agree that when a man is deceitful, calculating, or narcissistic, those traits can be deal breakers.
But we also need to be careful of the man who is indecisive.
When a man is indecisive, it can potentially be dangerous. Not indecisive in the sense of where to go for dinner, what he wants to drink, or which pants to buy. But indecisive when it comes to matters of the heart.
Indecisive because he doesn’t know if he’s happy in his relationship or if he needs to make a change. Indecisive to the point of staying in a relationship because he doesn’t know what he wants, so he drags it out because he can’t man up and decide.
If you’ve met a seemingly great man, and in getting to know him you find out there’s someone else in the picture, guard your heart. Even if he tells you he’s stuck, unhappy, or trying to end it… guard your heart. Do not allow yourself to get emotionally or physically involved.
Maybe he’ll say that you met when the timing was off, maybe you’ll even believe it, but that doesn’t mean you should stick around to be his backup plan. You shouldn’t allow yourself to be led on, to believe in a fairy tale just because you want it to come true. You deserve someone who is capable of choosing you, and only you, someone who will make the changes needed. Because no matter how drawn to you he is, and no matter how you can picture yourself with him, if there’s someone else, you are just an option.
And the truth is: you are worth so much more than being someone’s option.
You deserve a man who will make you his number one, a man who makes you a priority. Making you a priority shows that he respects, loves and values you, and chooses to show you that every day. If a man always puts his career, friends, or his own needs first because he’s unsure about you… walk away. If he can’t make a decision to cut ties in a situation that doesn’t serve him, walk away.
Because if he can’t even make up his own mind, why would you give him a chance?
Know that a man who wants you by his side will do what it takes to have you there. He will put in the effort, he will court you, he may even make you swoon. He will prove to you that you are the only choice, that building a relationship and experiencing life with you is something he genuinely wants, and you will know this to be true from his actions.
You deserve a man who is able to not only make decisions but follow through and stand firm in them. You deserve to be with a man who doesn’t make you doubt his choice to be with you. A man who will constantly show you with everything he does how sure of you he is.
Respect yourself enough to not wait around if a man has to “figure out” if he wants to be with you. Respect yourself enough to know your worth and not accept less than you deserve.
And just know that if you do decide to wait for him, you’re teaching him that his indecisiveness is acceptable. You’ve changed your standards for him, and in doing so, have left yourself wide open for the danger that comes with indecisiveness.
Because if he was unsure about choosing you to begin with, how can you ever really know that he’s completely sure about you now?