Some people cringe at the word single. They get anxiety over not having a partner to bring to their company party and consider being single taboo. Repeat this: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Some people aren’t quite ready to give love another chance, and some are perpetually single by choice.
The perpetually single girl knows what she wants in a partner and has faith that God will provide. She is patient and will happily wait for the one to show up, never feeling compelled to date or jump into relationships, just so she isn’t alone.
She’s been single every holiday from Valentine’s Day to New Year’s Eve, and always on her birthday. She doesn’t know what it’s like to have that person to kiss under the mistletoe or when the clock strikes midnight. She’s celebrated these days the best and only way she knows how: surrounded by family and loved ones.
She doesn’t sit around, longing for someone to love her, to make a life with. Instead, she goes out and creates a life full of love. Love for herself, family and friends, and a career that makes her happy. She stands by her standards, and trusts her gut and the advice of those who love her. She is completely comfortable being alone because she enjoys her own company, and would rather be happily single than be a serial dater.
She has difficulty falling in love because she is internally grounded and loves herself enough to know that she doesn’t need anyone in her life. She doesn’t need to have a Jerry Maguire “you complete me” moment because she is already complete. The man she finally allows herself to love will show her that although she already has an amazing life, he could complement and enrich it in a way she didn’t even know was possible.
Love is one of the biggest risks there is, and for someone who is happy with the life they’ve created, they have to believe it’s worth that risk. Because the perpetually single girl has some worry that in allowing herself to love, it will disrupt everything she’s worked hard to create… her happiness, and herself. She worries that the risk of falling in love outweighs the reward, because no one has shown her otherwise.
The perpetually single girl isn’t devoid of love. On the contrary, she loves deeply and whole-heartedly, but has learned to protect herself from loving the wrong people.
She gave love a chance in the past, ended up broken hearted, and learned how to repair herself. She’ll allow herself to fall in love with the man that has patience with her. The man who always shows up, who proves to her that she’s safe with him. The man she can have a relationship of perfect interdependence with.
She has difficulty falling in love because to fall in love is to surrender to the unknown. Her life is full of certainties and love is never a guarantee. It’s total vulnerability. It’s opening yourself up completely to someone, and trusting that they won’t destroy you. The perpetually single girl needs to remember that you can’t step into love with fear that it will fail, rather, you step into love with the hope that it enhances life in the best way possible.
You see, when you’re always single, you don’t have a partner to lean on, to share your worries and joys, to build a life with. No one to do the little things for you, from bringing you coffee in bed to putting air in your tires.
But something magnificent happens to you when you’re single for long periods of time: you learn to depend on yourself. You face your fears and worries. You celebrate your victories and successes. You don’t just survive your hardships, you thrive. You learn that the best advocate, the person who always stands up, is the one staring back at you in the mirror.
So please understand that it may be a challenge and take tremendous effort for the perpetually single girl to fall in love with someone…because she’s already spent years learning how to fall in love with herself.