You Can’t Control Everything, But You Can Control Your Mindset

How has Eczema made you feel through the years? Let me guess, self hate? Sad? Down? Negative in general at times. If you’ve felt this then you’re not alone. What people without eczema often fail to understand is that eczema is far more than just a rash; it affects everything.

When we talk about skin conditions like eczema we often immediately start talking about the physical symptoms, the physical inability to do the most mundane of tasks like opening a bottle or even having a shower. But there’s another layer that’s less discussed but even more important than the way it looks, it’s the way these visual conditions make us feel.

When your skin is bad, it consumes all your senses. From the way it looks, feels, and even the smells of the creams and treatments, a lot of us have skin-related trauma. The scent of a certain cream or even the sight of a slight flare can spiral us into a negative cycle of worry that it’ll become as bad as it once was.

Living with eczema can be a constant mental battle. The unpredictability of flare-ups means that you never truly know what you are going to wake up to each day. Then the self-blame that follows a sudden change in your skin. Can make you wonder if you’ve done something wrong — was it something you ate? Did you miss a step in your skincare routine? — eroding your sense of control.

I know how it feels to feel the lowest of lows, the feeling of like you’re never getting better, and the toxic focus on negative what-ifs instead of positive possibilities. But I promise you one day you’ll be able to talk about your skin condition without your voice breaking. You’ll share openly, educate others, and have this moment of release instead of dread when people ask you how you are feeling. Your skin is your largest organ and the first thing that others see daily, so if you are unhappy with your skin, then it starts to severely affect your body image.

Visible conditions often cause invisible conditions and vice versa. During times of stress, I’ve always noticed a significant increase in my eczema symptoms. This effect became even more obvious when I went through a period of grief. My skin erupted with eczema pretty quickly from the tears and then my hands from wiping them and up my arms. Skin barrier broken…and 3 days later I found myself in A&E with the worst skin inflammation I’d ever had in my life. I did not recognize myself in the mirror. The combination of stress, anxiety, and elevated cortisol levels triggered a severe skin reaction. Initially, I thought I was developing new allergies, but over time I realized the profound impact of my mental health through stress and grief had on my skin.

One of the hardest lessons is understanding that your worth isn’t determined by your skin. Fluctuations are normal, but they don’t affect your intrinsic value. Embracing the ever-changing nature of your skin while maintaining a positive mindset is crucial. It’s typical, you’ll look your best at 3am on a Wednesday when no one is around to see it. But when you have something important, your skin will start to deteriorate. The moment you step outside looking your absolute worst, there’s a 99% chance you’ll run into someone you haven’t seen in years. It’s just life being funny. All you can do is laugh.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and your worth remains unwavering despite the changes in your skin. It’s so important to learn to love the multiple versions of yourself, because you never know which one you’re going to wake up to.

And sadly, you can’t control everything, but you can control your mindset.

Together as a community, we can redefine beauty, embrace our unique journeys, and celebrate our strength and resilience.