You always want to be right.
Relationships are all about knowing when to hold onto something and when to let things go. Unfortunately, you don’t know the difference between being contrary and just being difficult until you get your way no matter how petty or unreasonable.
Your expectations are too high.
You dream big, but this means you have a tendency to project these plans onto people without actually figuring out if that would work or make sense.
You’re too private.
While your natural tendency of not talking about yourself is useful in some situations, like police interrogations, it’s not great in relationships. A relationship needs the input and cooperation of two people, not just one, especially for it to turn into a long-term partnership.
You are probably the most self-absorbed type, if something’s not about you, you will either make it about you, or pout and, wait for it, make it about you. A relationship cannot be completely one-sided; where not only does the ESFJ focus entirely on themselves they also expect their partner to do the same.
You’re too uptight.
While it’s true that ISTJs are naturally fairly prim and proper it shouldn’t get to the point where you make an actual stick in the mud look like a party. You sometimes fence yourself in just because you’re scared and there’s nothing in your personal bylaws about what to do.
You put your partner last.
Literally, last. Like behind the lady in line ahead of you at Homegoods last. You need to stop your endless race for achievement for five minutes sometimes to make sure your partner is still with you and not lost, wondering if they’re still even in a relationship with you.
You won’t stop trying to make a point of your intelligence.
While most INTPs are very smart, you care way too much about it. This can quickly go from charming to tiresome when you answer an offhand comment about lunch with an irrelevant TED talk on the Peloponnesian War.
You fear losing your independence.
For such a typically outspoken personality type you have a hard time finding a way to express your feelings, fearing that your partner is going to, I don’t know, I guess stop you from fighting the guy who cut the line ahead of you at Subway.
You test people.
Because this type holds such a fear of wasting time, they can attempt to “put their worst foot forward” in an attempt to weed out anyone who “can’t handle them at their worst”. This has a tendency to not work because people figure that this is you at your best and assume you must wear people’s skin on your off-time.
You think you’re not, but the truth is, ENFPs are one of the most self-centered types. While you are good at making people feel cared for, people have a tendency to realize that you are doing those things mostly to convince yourself you are a good person.
There is a difference between going with the flow and being so terrified of any pushback you just always stay silent. It’s okay to be shy, or even to pick your battles, but you can’t do it 100% of the time.
You’re a control freak.
Chill out for once in your life and stop trying to force everything to go your way. You have a powerful personality, but a relationship is a two way street, you can’t just expect the other person to do what you want and not ask questions.
You don’t like being in a relationship.
Your desire to multitask is not useful when it comes to being in a relationship, and your fear of commitment isn’t either. You can focus on something if you really want it, so maybe just stay single until you suddenly meet “the one”.
You have bad taste.
You are very empathetic, but this can mean you would probably date the Zodiac Killer and say he was misunderstood. Your dating history is filled with so many red flags your friends probably audibly groan when you say you’ve met someone.
You are uncompromising.
Just because someone has a different opinion than you doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. You’re not a Roman emperor, people don’t have to agree with you and you are not automatically right.
You’re a flake.
It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who only seems to be 30% present when you’re talking to them. You are vivacious and fun when you want to be, so get your head out of the clouds and show up when you said you would for once.