1. You were the guinea pig of this whole ordeal. By the second kid and onward, parents’ initial disdain for their little alien looking infants subsides and they really cool it on what constitutes grounds for time out. You, unfortunately, never got to reap the benefits of this.
2. The phrase “you never let ME do that when I was your age” has been uttered from your mouth more times than you can count.
3. You ended up being mommy’s little helper with your younger siblings, aka, this is how mommy is going to make you feel special while simultaneously getting you to throw out poop diapers for her. You did some baby grunt work in your day.
4. You will always harbor just a little bit of resentment for the excessive praise and love bestowed upon them by your parents just for, you know, existing.
5. You went through a period of life where you hated their little dumb asses following you around everywhere.
6. You couldn’t get away with anything or keep any secrets because those little chatter boxes would go running back to your mom and dad.
7. In a hilarious twist of fate, you were taught at a very young age that you would have a great deal to do with your siblings’ upbringing, as those poor, poor children would look up to you as their greatest role models. Sigh.
8. You received the brunt end of your parent’s fashion and hairstyling weirdness.
9. You were the one who looked awkward in the Sears family portraits while your chubby cheeked, wide eyed little siblings looked like they were straight out of an Anne Geddes shoot.
10. You were blamed for everything because even if you weren’t the one at fault, “you are older and you should know better.”
11. Despite their nuances, you actually took on the burden of being a full-time bodyguard, because you were the only person ever allowed to tease or beat them up.
12. You’re often accused of being bossy, or you’ve at least had someone nod and say ahh when you told them that you were the oldest child.
13. You went through an angsty phase where you tried to sell your new sibling.
14. You’ve watched them go through rites of passage to young adulthood with glee, namely, seeing them get all the social media accounts where you’d either ignore them entirely or forget anybody else exists on there.
15. You never know just how much to tell them and how much to hold back because in your eyes they are still these innocent little kids that don’t want to hear anything about your sex life, even when they’re 28.
16. You still call them your “baby” brother or sister.