We Should All Learn To Be Alone

girl happy on her own, living alone, independent
Allef Vinicius

We live in a world where the word alone often connotes something negative—selfishness, pride, unwantedness, cynicism, ugliness, anti-socialism.

It’s unnatural to have a good initial impression when we find out someone is alone or living on their own. We ask them why instead of saying wow to express wonder on how brave and strong they could be. It’s sad that even if it’s already 2017, solitude is yet vilipended because of dumb judgments from people who are so used to interdependence (disclaimer: I’m not defying its beauty). Consequently, we are bridled by fear of criticisms and unnecessary conventions, and so all this time we become weak, so needy and desperate of others.

We need to realize that the ability to live alone should be considered a superpower, and hence should be intently honed as we grow because being alone is a strong eventuality in anyone’s life.

It’s an ability that not everyone has. It is an intentional acquisition. A time-consuming, fervent practice. A decision-based ability that takes a heart. You can’t just say you have this ability until you realize it’s about redefining the customary joy that all possess when they feel so secured with everyone else. It’s about letting go of this customary joy that easily fades when people you least expect to leave already turn their backs. It’s about taking real joy from all this infliction. Yes, it’s a superpower.

Relationships are vital elements in living a good life, but focusing on it first without being good enough for your individuality may preclude the best quality of relationships you can have.

It sounds ironic but being independent can serve as taut foundation of your life’s relational facet. Why? Because you expect less from others as you know you can provide yourself the things you need and want. Perhaps because you already have them, and so all you need to do is share it with the people you cherish.

So you see? Being alone doesn’t really mean you’re selfish or anti-social. It doesn’t even mean you’re literally alone but you are just settled on your own—independent, complete, and protected from pain of expectations and standards. It doesn’t mean you cannot get along with others; instead, you know if you really need to get along with them and if not.

It doesn’t mean you are proud, it just means you have learned a lot in life that you choose to love yourself first because at the end of the day, it’s just you who can take control of your world.

You learn from your own mistakes. You owe nothing from anyone but yourself. You have a lot of time and place to enjoy what you love doing without hearing criticisms from other people.

It doesn’t mean you’re a cynic who doesn’t have faith in humanity but it means you have accepted the fact that not all people are willing to stay in your life for good and for the best reasons.

Being able to live alone kills your vulnerability.

When people leave, it doesn’t surprise you anymore. Because as you mastered solitude, you realized how easy it could be for people to come and go.

And when they go, it’s not becoming lonely.
It’s standing on your own yet you remain happy. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Karla Crisostomo

An insouciant soul, believer of joy in a mad world.

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