1. Bring me ice cream. Nothing makes everything better faster than unexpected ice cream.

2. Listen to me. Really listen. Put down the phone. Put down the computer. Talk back in a way that shows you are listening.

3. Want to get to know my friends. Be sweet to them. Care about them like I do. Bring them into your life as well.

4. Be willing to compromise. If we need to work something out, don’t pout and whine. Suggest things we both could do differently and ways we can meet in the middle.

5. Make me laugh. Make me squeal with uncontrollable laughter until I have to pee or I’m crying tears of joy.

6. Be good at sex. Take your time. Savor it. Connect with me on that intimate level. Of course I like when it’s dirty, but sometimes — be sweet.

7. Let me do things for you without resenting me. Let me baby you a bit. I like to know I’m needed and helpful. It doesn’t mean I don’t think you can do it. It’s just a thing that requires being a bit humble on your end.

8. Know how to dress and how to mix a drink. Two very easy things to learn, and everyone who wants to be impressive to their desired gender can do it.

9. Read books. Love discussing books and music and art. Love learning new things. Be willing to learn. Be open-minded.

10. Comfort me when I am sad without judgment or condescension and let me do the same for you. Don’t pull away when I want to love you or hug you. That’s what I am here and I want to make you feel better. Let me.

11. Love animals. You don’t necessarily have to have a pet, but be willing to smother my dog with love and kisses. Also, he sleeps in the bed. No if, ands or buts.

12. Be thoughtful. I don’t mean getting me gifts or spending money. I mean consider me when you make plans or think of me when you’re out. Don’t be rude. Don’t be inconsiderate. Don’t be selfish.

13. Cook me something. Even if it’s bad. Even if you burn soup. It’s the idea that counts.

14. Be someone who has had your heart broken. Know what it is to cry. Know what it is to be in pain. Understand profound sadness. Have experience in being vulnerable. Grow empathy and sympathy for other people through this.

15. Be yourself. Don’t be fake. Don’t put on a front. Don’t try and read those “pick-up artist” books. Don’t follow the rules of dating. Don’t worry about impressing anyone. Just be you. (But also learn how to make me a mojito, will ya?)