15 Times I Want To Die Of Embarrassment

When I have headphones on and I fart thinking no one else can hear it like an idiot.

Updated 7 months ago, May 9, 2024

1. When I am stalking someone on Facebook and I accidentally put their name as my status instead of in the search bar.

2. When I’m walking and I trip just a little bit but I know everyone on the sidewalk saw it, and I just have to keep walking.

3. When I toss something in the trash can and miss spectacularly and have to get up and sheepishly put it in the can.

4. When I misspell something really obvious and I have to swear up and down to people that I actually do know how it’s spelled.

5. When I wake up after being too drunk and realize that I had a full-on inappropriate conversation with someone where I told them way too much about my life.

6. When I see my ex out but I look like garbage because I didn’t think I’d see anyone — greasy hair, big zit, the works.

7. When I am talking shit about someone and they happen to be standing right behind me.

8. When I have something in my teeth or a booger hanging out and I don’t notice until I go to the bathroom much later.

9. When I have headphones on and I fart thinking no one else can hear it like an idiot.

10. When I wave really hard at someone and they either don’t see me or ignore me on purpose.

11. When I text the wrong person. Have you ever sent something to your mom meant for your SO? Because I have. It wasn’t pretty.

12. When I’m talking to my crush and my words get ahead of my brain and I’m thinking, “What are you even saying? Stop talking.”

13. When I accidentally “reply all” to an email that includes people I don’t know and did not need to be reply all-ed too because I know other people find that super annoying, but then if I reply all to apologize I’m doing it again.

14. When I say something kind of dickishly funny with such confidence and someone else in the group is like, “Actually my mom died of a shark bite, could you not” or some such similar serious addendum that makes me look like a jerk.

15. When I show someone something I really love like a TV show or a song that means a lot to me and they don’t laugh or think it’s cool, or they shut it off midway through and I have to pretend it doesn’t mean that much to me anyway.