I never thought I would live alone, but guess what – I am! And I kind of love it. I am 100% on my own now; no roommates, no boyfriend, nothing. This is something completely foreign to me. Besides the obvious bad things (no one to split bills with), it’s pretty great. Here’s what I’m learning are the signals that you’re a single girl living on your own.
1. Your fridge is empty save some cheese, yogurt and a few beers.
2. Tampons are displayed proudly in the bathroom. They’re not hidden in a cute jar. They’re in their ugly cardboard box like, What? This is my apartment, bitch.
3. You can eat the same meal for days on end. “Oh, we’re having toast again tonight? Sounds great to me!” is your internal monologue.
4. You get the invite to a friend’s wedding and upon opening it, exclaim “UGH, seriously?” to your pet.
5. Your “at home” outfit is underwear. You’re safe from any grabby hands. It’s probably not cute underwear, either.
6. You’re allowed to eat whatever you want with no one to judge you. If that’s Pizza Rolls dipped in Nutella, big deal. What happens in your apartment stays in your apartment.
7. You can have a different boy over every night! No roommates to judge you now. Plus, you can make as much noise as you want. Unless you’re really close with your neighbors or something.
8. There are a few takeout places in your “favorites” of your phone because cooking for one sucks. I hope you have Tupperware, because if you’re into cooking you’ll be storing and reheating a lot of those meals.
9. If dates become sleepovers, it’s nice because you can always go to your place and then you don’t need to be the one to awkwardly leave in the morning. You learn how to kick a partner out in a subtle, yet effective manner.
10. Want to listen to Joni Mitchell on Spotify all day? Guess what? You can! No one can complain about Joni’s voice now.
11. You’re allowed to decorate exactly as you please. There’s no boyfriend to demand you “man up” your living room and get rid of some of the pink. There’s no roommate’s clunky “sentimental” furniture. You can make your apartment a complete reflection of YOU.
12. You can do everything with the bathroom door open.
13. Things are where you left them. No one hides the blow dryer or complains about your dishes.
14. Long, hot baths become your favorite activity. You can hog the bathroom all you like with no worries that someone outside has to pee really bad. You can spend hours doing your hair or perfecting your false eyelash application.
15. The TV is yours. No one else can butt in on your Kardashians and “Storage Wars” binges. No one will make fun of you for rewatching “Gossip Girl” in its entirety, which is what I am currently doing.
16. When you want to have people over, it’s easy to invite them for dinner or a drink. And then they leave, which is the best part. No one intrudes on your private time.