So you wanna get a Brazilian wax, huh? Awesome! I’m a huge fan of the wax and I fully support and encourage anyone who wants one to try it. I’ve been getting them on the regular since 2008, so I’m practically an expert by now.
But a Brazilian wax isn’t foolproof! Here’s what you need to know before you let them take it all off.
1. Do your research. Don’t go blindly into the cheapest place you find, but don’t spend $75+ at some fancy joint either. Neither are worth it. Ask your friends. Ask your friends’ friends. Ask Twitter in your area. Someone will have a recommendation. Call around. Yelp if you must. Find a place with a good reputation and decent prices. A Brazilian wax shouldn’t cost more than $50. I pay $35 for mine.
2. It will hurt – but it won’t hurt THAT badly. I promise you it isn’t the Most Painful Thing in the World. I actually think having my brows done hurts worse, and I’ve heard horrible things about underarm waxes. If you’re worried about pain, take an Advil an hour or so before your appointment.
3. Don’t go in with some crazy long bush, but don’t go in with stubble either. Your pubes need to be just a little bit long so your waxer can adequately catch them. If they’re too long, it’ll hurt more or they’ll have to shave you down.
4. Exfoliate gently the day before. It’ll help with ingrown hairs. You can do this with some soap and a loofah; I would advise against really deep, abrasive exfoliation.
5. Breathe. Take deep breaths and focus on those breaths. Try to stay as relaxed as possible.
6. Talk to your waxer. I find that making pleasant conversation helps the wax go by faster and distracts me from the fact that someone is pouring and then ripping hot wax off my vagina. They’ll also give you tips and let you know when to breathe.
7. The “top” hurts the most. Every girl who gets waxed will tell you that “THE TOP HURTS THE MOST!” You’d think it would be the labia, but NOPE!
8. If you get waxed regularly, your hair growth will slow. I barely grow any hair anymore, which kind of sucks because in hindsight I wouldn’t have had them take it all off. I might have left a landing strip. Oh well! I’ll have to get a landing strip merkin.
9. You will pee everywhere after your wax. Why is that? I always pee everywhere the day after a Brazilian,
10. Exfoliate again after your wax! Wait a day, then continue to gently exfoliate to discourage ingrown.
11. You might not want to have sex the first night. It can be a little tender.
12. You’ll love it or totally hate it. But if you go Brazilian even once, you’ll always have that “I conquered it!” mentality. It’s an experience every willing chick should have.