Ladies, I beg of you.
Every weekend, I see you stumbling about city blocks in shoes you can’t walk in.
I get it! I truly do. All of our favorite celebrities wear heels all the time: Kim’s in them at the airport, Beyonce, Nicole Richie. Heels, heels, heels.
But you know what? Celebrities don’t WALK that much. They take private cars. They’re not like you, out there hobbling down the street like a baby horse just learning to walk.
Don’t buy heels you can’t walk in. I don’t care if they’re “sooooo cute” and they “go with your outfit!” I don’t care! That adorable outfit you so painstakingly put together is ruined by the image of you shuffling and whining on mincing, painful feet. It would be way cuter if you were wearing shoes you felt comfortable in.
I LOVE shoes. I have tons of them – super-high, pointy-toe, thigh-high … the list goes on and on. But the painful ones? I never wear them. Because why would I wear something that has the ability to ruin my night? I leave that to men.
It’s really hard to resist cute shoes. They’re a gateway drug. They’re the piece that could, essentially, complete a killer outfit. They make us look taller and thinner and lift our butts up. They make our legs look incredible. But if they don’t fit your foot right as soon as you try them on … well, girl, you gotta put them away.
In order for heels to be comfortable and for you to stay a girl and not morph into a hobbling filly, they have to fit your foot. Arches are key. There’s got to be some support from your soles to your heels. I’m not saying you need Dr. Scholl’s or platforms or anything, but the shoe needs to fit and cradle your foot. If it’s painful or less-than-perfect right off the bat, it’s a NO. Think about it: Cinderella wouldn’t have been the princess if her shoe didn’t fit. We must take this to heart.
You don’t need to spend a ton of money on your shoes for them to be comfortable and walkable. One of my most favored pairs of heels is from H&M; I am obsessed with their low-heel pumps for $25. I worked retail for years and could wear them for 5+ hours, no problem. They were inexpensive, but they fit my foot just right and the heel wasn’t too high to cause too much shock or pain. I can’t say the same about some more expensive pairs I just HAD to have. They’re beautiful, but lethal.
The ideal is a heel of about three inches, with a slight platform at the bed of your foot and enough space to move your toes a little. Squashing your feet into shoes is how you get bunions and corns and stuff. We all wanna wear the giant fancy YSL and Loubi heels, but the sad news is, we shouldn’t. Worn regularly, heels like that will destroy your feet. Ask SJP!
Another tip, which I learned from a drag queen: When you wear heels, hold your head high. Focus on your posture. Shoulders back, head and chest lifted. Don’t carry all your weight in your hips. Walk with a purpose.
If you absolutely must wear those shoes tonight … then have a maximum of three strong cocktails. Any less and they’ll still hurt. Any more and you’ll be that sloppy mess with her shoes off on the sidewalk. Be a lady, not a baby horse.