1. They wear whatever they want.
Try telling a confident girl how to dress in mid-August. Just go ahead, try.

See…you won’t do it, because they will seriously laugh in your face. Plus you’ll just fuel the extra ammo they needed to turn around and rock that crop top on without a care in the world. They wear what they like, when they like, how they like, and they don’t let eye rolls get in the way of that. I mean, their basic MO is –If you don’t like my outfit, then why are you looking at me in the first place?– Preach.

2. They say no.
It’s pretty simple: they don’t overcommit and they don’t make false promises. They. Say. No. Because it’s the brave thing to do. And they utilize the RSVP instead of shading out (rude). Self assured girls understand that certain obligations are necessary, but they don’t try to attend/host/create/chair/be everything. They know better. Too many commitments lead to shady exits or complete burnout. And, if FOMO strikes later, they can channel that energy into saying yes next time.

3. They listen.
While self-assured girls trust their own judgment, they also are secure enough to listen to others’ opinions. Now, they won’t necessarily like what they hear all the time, but listening is the highest form of respect. If they ask a question, they know better than to ignore the answer. Confident girls can blend their own ideas with those of others, or respectfully choose to decline enacting a suggestion after genuinely listening to its pros and cons. While talking may seem like a trait of confidence, don’t let silence fool you. Confidence is all about the ears, my friends.

4. They admit their flaws.
No one is perfect (except Blush). And as much as we hear this cliche, lots of us do not take it to heart. Self-assured girls not only admit their imperfections, they applaud them. They know where their strengths lie, where they can improve, and when to get the heck outta dodge and let others take the lead. Trying to be perfect at everything is inefficient and pointless, plus perfect people are bor-ring. Confident girls love themselves for who they are, and who they’re not.

5. They’re open to love.
Regardless of how brutal or shameful one’s romantic past may be, the opportunity for love is never off the table. The reward of romantic connection always out weights the risk of heartbreak, because self-assured girls know they can withstand the wrath of any future rejection. A failed relationship is an opportunity. Self-assured girls reflect on why it didn’t survive (he was stupid), work to better their own unfavorable behaviors (ok maybe I told him he was stupid a lot), and then search for a more compatible partner (one that isn’t stupid). Kidding! But seriously, confident girls don’t let their past hold them back, because they know they are worthy of a great relationship, strong enough to survive if it doesn’t work out, and awesome enough to withstand rejection.

6. They ask for help.
So important. They know trying to accomplish everything alone is virtually impossible. Self-assured people don’t feel threatened or belittled by seeking help from coaches or counselors. They understand it’s beneficial and smart to talk to others about their issues, instead of trying to keep everything together at every moment of every day. As much as confidence is our weapon against doubt, it also needs to be nurtured from an outside source. Our self-assured ‘tudes need some love too, ya know, so we must always utilize support.

7. They don’t conform.
Let’s just say they left their desire to ‘fit in’ next to their obnoxious Spice Girls posters and whiney Tamagatchis. Conforming out of the sheer desire to be liked makes about as much sense to them as trying to learn Spanish before a study abroad program in Japan. It’s a complete waste of energy and does you zeh-ro good.

Of course, they recognize that not everyone will share the same beliefs, and that’s perfectly okay with them. As long as they can do their thang without judgment, it’s all good.

8. They own their feelings.
Fighting stinks, but no matter what the circumstance is, confident girls strive to understand their emotions and they own up to them. They understand that hiding anger, sadness, jealousy, or any other bratty feeling only makes it worse. Self-assured girls take the opportunity to express themselves without blaming others, and confirm that they are understood. They return the favor by listening to the other side, and then, they ride off into the sunset with their homies and get ice cream because it’s all good now.

9. They release guilt.
Guilt is supposed to be a temporary emotion. It pushes you to understand your actions, act to correct the mistake, and apologize. But that’s it. Guilt is not meant to wreak havoc on our emotional foundation. The longer it sits, the more it festers. Plus it will single handedly destroy any confidence or self-love we have worked so hard for! I mean, y’all should know this by now, considering what the wretched emotion did to that poor viral dog. So much guilt. So. Much.

10. They support others.
Self-assured girls love watching their friends soar. Cheering on others’ businesses, relationships, and successes does not impede on any of our own accomplishments; it highlights them. They understand there is zero reason not to encourage, help, or support others. Having a strong and successful network is a pretty smart move–guilty by association, right?–so confident girls do all they can to help their girls become stronger. High fives all ’round.