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This Is What It Means To Be Single At 29

Up until I was 28, I had a preconditioned definition of the term single founded on both internal and external values. Coming to grips with departing my 20s and ushering in a new decade, I meditated upon the definition of single and realized I was seeing it all wrong.

This breakthrough arrived after experiencing breakdowns in some fashion that required turning inward to reflect on my roles in past relationships and identifying any themes throughout the course of the relationship and final dissolution.

Reflecting back on my definition of single, finding your other half has been indoctrinated in such a binary manner. You either find your other half and complete that requirement or succumb to a solitary and lonesome way of life.

I never gave it a second thought, never ruminated on the common phrase, “your other half,” until I came across its genesis in a recent book. The notion of seeking your soulmate in the form of your “other half” is rooted in Greek mythology. According to the Greeks, you were condemned to a life of despair and yearning in hopes of finding your “other half” and becoming whole again. It’s evident how this fallacy has been ingrained in our society and manifested in ubiquitous ways. Quite simply, you are not half of a person until you meet your soulmate.

From the moment you are born, you are whole. You are not only a whole person, but you are unique, complete, and independent at your core. These simple truths are the only reminders you need to carry forward with your life regardless of your relationship status.

I am embodying a new definition of “single” by meeting myself where I am with complete acceptance and confidence in my wholeness. I am trusting my current place in the universe and embracing the experiences that arise as sacred and necessary to my evolution. By acknowledging any lingering feelings of comparison, I realign on my priorities and any disconnects on where I am versus what I think I am missing out on because I am single. By learning to accept where I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I dissolve any tension on where I expected to be. I am learning to embrace the experiences that come my way. I am accepting the blessings. I believe in abundance and self-worth because I am whole.

I am learning to not be defined by a relationship status and step into the power of who I am as a single, complete, and independent being by nature. Being single is not only fundamental but sacred to my own becoming. As much as humans seek certainty, there are some things you cannot orchestrate without being true to yourself and the season you are in.

I am learning to not place such a critical lens on finding my other half but instead be open to attracting the energy I seek and in turn embody. I am my own mirror in life, practicing what I admire in others and learning to give more in all areas of my life to others.

Do things regardless of having a partner and live the life you envisioned for yourself regardless of relationship status. Be bold and take inventory of where you could be outsourcing your intrinsic worth and recommit to yourself today. The greatest impact is to be a living truth and honoring your present self, regardless of a mate.

About the author

Kalea Cleeton

Kalea Cleeton is a writer and health coach residing in northern CA.