8 Struggles Of A ‘Lone Wolf’ Who Secretly Loves People

Marta Esteban
Marta Esteban

1. The reason you ‘float’ from group to group is because you enjoy a multitude of people and it is your way of not getting too heavily involved.

You don’t believe in having a ‘best’ friend but in being a good friend to everyone or, you refuse to get that close to anyone to consider them one. You enjoy a variety of personality types and your personality is able to fit into multiple types of social groups, making it easy to connect with a couple of people but not with an entire ‘tribe.’

2. You have trust issues you have yet to deal with.

Whatever it was, there was an incident that occurred that turned you off to the idea of being vulnerable with other people. You refuse to assess these reoccurring trust issues because they come and they go, and they don’t seem to bother you too much. To you, the risk is greater than the reward.

3. You will support anyone if they ask (or even if they do not) but will feel uncomfortable if others make an effort to do the same.

As ‘distant’ as you make yourself seem, you will (oddly) do anything for a stranger. And not just because you feel morally obligated to but because it is actually something you love doing. You are just really good at keeping secrets. Yet, if anyone else makes the offer to do the same, you put up an emotional barrier and fend off their acts of kindness.

4. It is difficult for you to show your true identity to the majority of the people in your life.

You may the ‘quirky one’ that is afraid to show their serious side; to share their struggles or their innermost thoughts. Or, you could be the one that is always ‘too serious’ and is afraid to let your freak flag fly because you do not allow yourself to get close enough to anyone. You desire authenticity but it scares you. Because when you become vulnerable with people, they can be scared off and they have been, and you don’t want to feel the sting of rejection ever again.

5. When you do let people in, you constantly doubt their love for you.

The people in your life can constantly show you that they care about you and you will, occasionally yet DEEPLY, still doubt them. You realize this can be troubling for those who love you because they weren’t the ones who hurt you and you try your best to avoid causing them pain.

6. You may seem detached or unemotional, but you simply care at a ‘safe’ distance.

This decision to be a loner is not because you are introverted or need alone time. It is because you consider what you are doing to be the safest option for you right now. It may or may not be, and only you know the real answer.

7. Being in large groups intimidates you, only because being in a healthy, functioning community feels foreign.

Your fear of large communities does not stem from social anxiety or a desire for less external stimuli but because being surrounded by a group of people who love and support one another is a foreign concept to you. You have been isolated for far too long to know what healthy community looks like.

8. You were not always a lone wolf.

There was a time in your life when you were surrounded by a group of friends or family members you cared deeply about; a time where you were not intentionally separating yourself and trying your best to harden your heart. There was a time when you weren’t so distant from the world. TC mark

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