Justin Hook

4. Telling people you don’t watch TV So you’ve somehow managed to subsist wholly on Netflix, Hulu, HBO Go, and the entirety of the Internet? We’re so impressed!

It may be hard to believe, but “I’m your biggest fan,” is about the least impressive thing you can say to someone who hears it almost constantly — in fact, I’m pretty sure the guy in front of you just said exactly that, and he’s got the tattoo to prove it.

But now that every person with a smart phone has instant access to every bit of human knowledge, not only do you have to be right 100% of the time, you have to be right with stunning accuracy.