1. The Eager Beaver. It’s the friend who is just way too excited about everything that’s happening, always.
2. The Ticket Master. It’s your friend who always manages to score tickets or passes to the hottest sporting event, concert, or party in town.
3. The Camp Counselor. When you don’t have plans, you contact this friend and he/she will have five different options for you to choose from for that day. He/she is always moving and wants a friend to join in on the activities.
4. The Brokester. You go out with this person, but know at the end of the night that you’re getting stuck with the tab. Every. Single. Time. How does he/she still have excuses? More importantly, can we charge interest on what’s owed?
5. The Therapist. You might as well lie down on a couch when you spend time together because when you see this friend your problems just flow out. And he/she actually listens intently and offers constructive feedback.
6. The Cheerleader. This friend has a rah-rah attitude and thinks everything you do is just the greatest. He/she makes you feel like you’re the starting quarterback on an NFL team or America’s Next Top Model.
7. The Conspiracy Theorist. You can never have a normal conversation with this person. And you know better than to ask a question or engage in a debate, but you do it anyway. Then it’s his/her opportunity to shine and show how much time they spend browsing the web.
8. Sir or Lady Luck. The person who you rarely bump into, but when you do magical things happen as soon as you part ways.
9. The Dark Cloud. This person passes his/her problems onto you and comes away energized from your encounter.
10. The Underdog. The friend who outworks everyone, but lacks certain attributes most people believe are necessary to succeed in his/her desired field. You know this, but still cheer him/her on. It’s your very own Rudy.
11. The Bad News Bear. Whenever you see this person, something is always wrong. It’s his/her duty to update you on everything that’s wrong with the world and his/her life.
12. The Time Sucker. You intentionally budget three hours of your day for coffee with this person and then set aside two hours to unwind.
13. The Drinking Buddy. You can always rely on this person to meet you for happy hour or a boozy brunch.
14. The Hobbyist. There’s always an activity or hobby that you’re not proud to admit to others, but that you really enjoy. You and this friend bond over that. The only problem is that you can’t spend too much time with this person since it’s all he/she talks about.
15. Workout Pal. It’s your neighbor who you walk with on Sunday mornings or a friend you meet to lift weights so you don’t have to ask a random person in the gym to spot you. You push and hold each other accountable.
16. The Protector. This person might as well be your security guard because when you’re together nobody is allowed to touch you, say anything mean, or even look at you for more than three seconds. You always feel safe with him/her.
17. The Degenerate. You have the best nights of your life when you’re with this person while it’s all happening. However, when you remember (or can’t recall) what you actually did, you have trouble looking at yourself in the mirror the next day. Meanwhile, your friend is ready for round two.
18. The Networker. You need a car? A bed? A computer? This friend has a friend for you to contact. He/she makes sure that the transaction works out well for you and his/her contact, too. It’s a win-win and this person knows he/she will be able to ask not one, but two people for favors later on down the road.
19. The Wheeler Dealer. This friend can get you into or out of any situation.
20. Work Bestie. It’s the person you like the most at your company, but don’t really know that well or actually trust. So, you share general stories about yourself, but not the intimate ones. And it’s weird if/when you see each other outside of work since all of your interactions take place there.
21. The MacGyver. There isn’t a problem that will come up that this friend can’t handle. They’re Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It and always have duct tape or WD-40 handy.
22. The Mentor. It’s that person who takes you under his/her wing and teaches you how to fly. Since I used that metaphor, it’s basically Gordon Bombay and Charlie Conway’s dynamic in The Mighty Ducks.
23. The Protégé. This is your chance to make your mark on the world. If you don’t have your own kids, he/she is your pride and joy. You impart wisdom, pay for meals or drinks, and just want this friend to enjoy his/her life and not have to deal with the hardships you’ve faced.
24. The Stoner. Is it possible for someone to forget his/her own name? This is your friend to ask. It may take a few minutes before you’re given a response, but it’s guaranteed to be philosophical.
25. The Star. Why isn’t this friend famous? Seriously, he/she is insanely talented and needs a record deal, to star on Broadway, or have a major art show immediately. The world is missing out on what you’re privileged to experience.
26. The Moped. It’s that friend who isn’t very attractive and you aren’t very fond of, but he/she serves a purpose. Or as Urban Dictionary so eloquently puts it: “A moped is fun to ride, but you don’t want to take it out around your friends.”
27. The Tag Along. How does this person end up at all of the events that you and your friends go to without an invite? You thought you stopped being friends with him/her ages ago.
28. The Snob. This friend knows a lot about everything and if he/she doesn’t, he/she will make it up. We get it. You’re sophisticated, you’re smart, and you can just stop now.
29. The Gisele or Leo. It’s your friend who always looks incredible in photos.
30. The Overachiever. You’re still not sure how your friend became an astronaut, but he/she did it. Anything short of curing cancer is a failure compared to this friend.
31. The Puppet Master. This friend enjoys pulling your life strings when you allow it. It’s his/her chance to live vicariously through you.
32. The Player. You don’t know how to manage one relationship and this friend is dating five people at one time successfully. He/she is never tied down and makes the most of single life.
33. The Nag. Also known as the voice of reason when logic just won’t do for you.
34. The Entrepreneur. You don’t trust this friend with your money. If the get-rich-quick scheme really works, why isn’t this friend rich? And why does he/she need your money?
35. The Accident Waiting To Happen. It’s your friend who has no athletic ability, plans a skiing trip, decides to take on a Double Black Diamond on his/her first ever time on the slopes, and ends up with a broken leg.
36. The People Pleaser. You need a ride to the airport at 4 a.m.? You ask this friend. He/she will not say no and always wants people to think highly of him/her.
37. The Flake. Oh, we have dinner plans tonight? The answer is yes. You do have dinner plans, but this friend decides it’s too much of an effort for him/her to meet you on a rainy night. You reschedule but know you won’t be seeing each other anytime soon.
38. The CIA Agent. This friend intrigues you beyond belief. He/she is always cryptic with his/her answers and the illusion of the life he/she lives is just too much. It’s like they’re always undercover and you just want to join him/her on the next mission.
39. The Traveler. Oh, you’re exploring Europe again next month? That’s awesome. How do you find the time and have the money to do this? Take me with you. Please. I beg you.
40. The Thinker. We should drizzle BBQ sauce on top of vanilla ice cream and see how it tastes, this friend will think. He/she either comes up with outlandish ideas that make no sense or very good ones that he/she doesn’t follow through with.
41. The Awkward Guy/Gal. You can talk with this friend (or really friend of a friend) for about five minutes before the conversation will take its eventually turn for the worse. The only thing that goes through your mind is, “You’re a weird guy, Ace.”
42. The Hypochondriac. This is the friend who is convinced he/she has Ebola or whatever disease is on the news that day. Whatever you do, do not allow this friend to visit WebMD.
43. The Wendy Williams or Perez Hilton. Did you know that Cameron Diaz got married? Well, this friend does. And even knows the guy’s name who she married. He/she is up on all of the celebrity gossip.
44. The Social Media Maven. You don’t need to actually talk to this friend. Just look at his/her Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, and Foursquare updates to know where he/she is going and has been the past several days.
45. The Weight Watcher. This friend is always on a diet. And anytime you’re with him/her, the diet starts tomorrow.
46. The Group Mom or Dad. You’re lucky to have someone other than your parents to make sure that you’re eating well, sleeping enough, and have a place to go for every holiday. This friend makes sure that you know that you’re loved and thought about often.
47. The Mixtape Master. Fine, this friend is using Spotify now. It’s the person who is on the pulse of the music scene and knows all of the hip and trendy artists that you should be listening to before the general public catches on.
48. The Speed Racer. Reckless driving is never good and should be addressed. It’s just difficult telling your friend who thinks that he/she is the best driver on the planet that he/she is a terror on the road. If everyone who claimed to be such a great driver actually was a great driver, there wouldn’t be any need for car insurance.
49. The Host/Hostess. You don’t understand why this friend loves to throw dinner parties or host events, but you’re always glad to be invited. Just remember to bring a bottle of wine or a dessert and you’ll lock up future invites.
50. The Best Friend. This is your one friend who has been with you from the very start. And the best part is that you know they will be there with you until the very end.