You my amazing friend, are gold. You are rare, 24 karat, gold. So why do you waste your time pursuing people and relationships that cannot compete with what you are able and willing to give?
I’m not just talking about the loser you keep in your life, who on a good day makes you feel okay about yourself but most days allows you to feel low and worthless. I’m talking about all the uncertain relationships; the indecisive partners, the friends with benefits, the scared ones.
All of them.
If you’re anything like me, which I’m quickly discovering a lot of people are, you are a fixer. You meet someone and you see their potential. You sense the good in them and even when you see the red flags, you believe it can be fixed. Well, the truth is, when a person tells you that they are too damaged, confused or not wanting anything, you need to believe them. We as fixers tend to think that just a little bit more time or a few more grand gestures on our part is going to do the trick. But it’s not. The only people we are fooling is ourselves. You can’t love someone to the point that makes them want to be with you. Trust me. It’s a decision that they have to make and as hard as it is to hear, there is a chance it will never happen.
I’m sure you are wondering what it is you are supposed to do. Well, let’s start with learning to love ourselves. Then it is time to make sure we are putting our wants and needs before anybody else’s. Because the truth is, if you don’t put yourself first, nobody else will.
If you feel that you need to leave the relationship you’re in but are too scared, trust in change and just do it. So, I guess what I’m telling you to do is to put yourself out there. If you want more from somebody, you need to tell them. While you sit there silently in love, you’re wasting precious time for either that person to recognize what the hell is in front of their face or you are allowing someone to waste your time when there is somebody else that could be giving you everything you deserve.
How many times did I regret a decision that pushed me out of my comfort zone? Zero. It may not have always been easy, but every damn time it has been worth it. There comes a point in every relationship where you have to decide if that person is worth your time and effort. If their time in your life has expired, then take it for what it is. Over. And please, do not apologize.
It is a part of life for people to grow and change and expand and it’s okay to let go of the relationships that no longer add value to your life.
What I will tell you from personal experience is that whatever you do, never settle for indecisiveness. Never allow someone to be your priority while you remain an option. Never put yourself in a position where your feelings and needs are not being honored. Don’t waste your time with people who don’t see a future with you. Remember indecisiveness is a decision. What starts as us giving someone a little more time, turns into another couple months which quickly turns into years. Years of your life that you wasted. Wasted on hope or a thought that someone could be different than what they have shown you time and time again. You do not deserve to wake up one day and wonder where your years went. You deserve a love that knows your value.
Because if we really think about it, life is all about the things we value.
Whether that be objects, people, money, time or whatever else. I can tell you one thing we all sell short of its actual worth. Ourselves. By allowing relationships to stay in our lives that are anything but treasured and worthwhile, we are not valuing ourselves or our time. So say what it is you want to say and do what it is you want to do. You deserve all the happiness in the world and any person who doesn’t realize that from the start is not worth your time or your effort.