This Is How You Love A Woman Who Doesn’t Love Herself

Felix Russell-Saw

She is kind. She is funny. She has more attitude than you can handle at times.

She is the most beautiful woman you have ever encountered. Even better yet, she is likely the very best thing to ever walk into your life. Her bright eyes and contagious laugh is just a couple of the reasons you find her to be so intoxicating.

However, there is one catch. She doesn’t see any of it. She has no idea how special she is. When she looks into the mirror she just sees scars. She sees the effects of the heartbreak she has endured. Most of all, she sees her flaws. All the reasons she feels you wouldn’t want to stay.

Maybe it’s physical and she thinks you can’t love her body or her big nose. Maybe she tends to need reassurance and she thinks you will find her to be needy when in fact she just needs to feel secure.

Instead of just chalking it up to her being self-conscious, try putting her at ease. Hold her hand. Kiss her cheek. Tell her how amazing you think she is. The thing about women who don’t see their worth, is that they were told and made to feel as though they were nothing. They didn’t just wake up and decide that they weren’t worthy of someone’s love and affection. They were continuously told they were inadequate and they were constantly made to feel as though they were worthless. After a while, you can’t help but believe it.

So do her a favor and don’t get upset when she doesn’t accept your compliment. It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate it; she is just learning how to react. She is reading you trying to figure out your intentions. The last thing she wants to do is open herself up and be vulnerable. She can’t risk you leaving like the rest. Be consistent in telling her what she means to you. 

Hold her close when you can see she is overwhelmed.  Check in on her randomly throughout the day. Know that it’s okay to be protective of her. The feeling of knowing you care makes her feel safe. Kiss her when she’s not expecting it. Leave her a note in her car to find. However you choose to show your affections, make sure it’s genuine. This girl doesn’t have the time or patience to try for anything that isn’t real.

When you have gained her trust and she realizes that you do in fact care about her as a person, you will see a whole different side of her. The girl who once couldn’t see her own worth will have seen herself through your love and it was life changing. By allowing someone else to love her, she will learn the kind of love she deserves. The transformation will be that of night and day.

So why should you put in so much work? It’s quite simple really. She’s worth it. Every bit of work.

She will eventually trust you and learn to believe in herself again. She will love you so fiercely that you won’t know what hit you. She will be unstoppable because just when she thought she wasn’t worthy of something, you showed her she was. You took the time to love her when she didn’t know how to love herself. You stayed when she didn’t think you would. You proved her wrong and loved her right. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I live to laugh.

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