Most of us can agree with the fact that dating can be a headache. Those of us in the dating world have been mind warped into thinking of dating as a game. The goal was to always have control of the new relationship and don’t you even think about showing too much interest in the beginning or you will lose the upper hand.

Once you have established a mutual interest in each other, it’s typical to do everything we can to hide whatever skeletons we have in the closet. We want to appear the closest to perfection that we can. Heaven forbid someone sees our imperfections. Finally, we move onto my favorite part; the overanalyzing of every single thing.

Maybe they didn’t call or text you goodnight the day you had your date. Maybe you start to wonder if you gave off a different vibe than you were intending. What about that thing that was said at dinner?

Maybe you didn’t laugh enough or even worse, what if you offended them with your jokes. The possibilities are endless, but you start to fall into a pattern of overthinking. They mention something about their past relationship and you automatically start thinking they haven’t gotten over their ex or better yet, you start to wonder if they are even single. The frustrating part is anybody outside can clearly see that you’re overthinking but it’s not so easy to see when you are so involved.

Let’s have a moment of real talk. If we’re being honest, these games that we play only happen when we allow them to. If you are not sure about where you stand with someone, simply ask. If the answer they give you isn’t what you want or isn’t solid enough, walk away.

You my friend have this control. Demand answers and in return, provide them. When you start to be more assertive, you’ll attract someone who is more assertive.

Stay single until you meet someone who doesn’t make you overthink everything. Wait for the person who calls you just to tell you they miss you. Be with someone who tells you exactly where they stand and isn’t afraid to tell you what you mean to them. Find the person who sees the real you, flaws and all, and loves your regardless. Search for a partner who communicates with you.

If they’re mad, they need to tell you. If they need something from you, they will tell you. No having to over think everything that is said and done. There are so many uncertain things in the world; you do not deserve to have who you love be another.