I Will No Longer Be Needy When It Comes To Love

man hugging woman near mountain
Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash

I will no longer be needy when it comes to love.

I will not triple text you when you don’t respond. I will not call back when you hang up on me. I will not ask for you to come over when you say that you’re busy. I will not cry and wait around when you can’t follow through with plans. I will not chase after you when you leave in anger. I will not beg for you to stay with me if you decide to leave.

I understand that relationships take work, but this work should consist of compromise—not the compromise of your self-worth.

If someone does not see your worth, you shouldn’t have to take the time to prove it to them. Because, if someone truly wants you, you won’t have to beg. If someone wants to be with you, you won’t even have to ask for their attention.

You shouldn’t feel like you’re being needy in the relationship.

They should be there. They should match your effort.

And just like those people who stay, you need to recognize your own worth.

Do not let it be belittled in the hands of someone that does not deserve it. It can be crushed and squeezed into the size of a pebble, to be placed in the pocket of someone who keeps it handy for when they can use it to their advantage.

Do not allow that.

Your worth is not a pebble.

It is a comet as large as the sun that can’t be carried around for their convenience. It is to be admired from afar by the right people and feared by all of the wrong ones.

Once you’re aware of this—all that you are and all that you deserve—it’ll be that much easier to let go of someone who requires you to try too hard to gain their affection.

If someone declares their love for you, they need to show it through their actions, as well as their words. If they seem like they’re losing interest or start to play games with your mind to keep you wanting, to keep you needing, then what you really need to do is walk away.

Otherwise, they will start to think that you will always remain, even if they start to look other ways.

This will no longer suffice for me.

If they look away, then they are also taking away my ability to see their worth in my life, but I will always see mine.

If they want to be with someone else, I will let them. I will not waste my strength to pull them away from what their heart desires, even if it’s a temporary lust—even if it’s not me.

All I have to do is look down at myself in order to be reminded of what they’re missing out on.

I may wish for them to see it, but I won’t spend my time trying to show them.

It’s not okay for someone to make you feel like you have to try harder or act differently in order to have them look your way.

It’s not a healthy relationship if they start making you feel needy or start making you feel as if you’re a nuisance, instead of the love of their lives. They are trying to make it so they mean more to you than you mean to them. They are trying to crush and make small all that it is that makes you big.

Don’t ever let someone succeed in the attempt to make you need them. People don’t need another’s attention, especially when it’s conditional and inconsistent.

It’s so much more worth it to spend time on the ones who stay, the ones who commit to a deeper connection, the ones that stay consistent and don’t make you feel like you must fight to keep them in your life.

So, I release my desire to need someone that doesn’t treat me the way I deserve. I may want you, but I will never need you. I may love you, but if you challenge me into fighting for your affection, I will back out immediately. I will not fight for someone who doesn’t fight with me, because real love is when you fight together. Real love is not something you feel like you need to strive for, but something that comes naturally.

And that is why I will no longer be needy when it comes to love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Jordan Lueder

Writing my way through life, one word at a time.

More From Thought Catalog