The truth about a woman who has become used to being on her own is that she isn’t actually looking for a man. She’s not out looking for someone special to love her, because she has either accepted the love she has for herself as enough or she has realized that the struggles of being in a relationship with a man are just not worth the effort or time.
A woman on her own knows how to manage this effort and time according to her wants and needs. She has become selfish, but for good reasons. She has created a balance in her life that doesn’t depend on others, in case those others are fleeting—which they usually are.
She can’t control the decisions of others, but she can determine her own. A woman used to being on her own depends on a life that follows a schedule of her own making, so she knows where she is and where she will end up being.
It’s her way to success, without the need of a significant other to get her there.
For a man to change that, he would have to be someone special—someone real.
Being a real man doesn’t mean that he holds back tears in the face of agony. It doesn’t mean his muscles are outgrowing his shirts or that he has a full bank account. It doesn’t mean he holds doors open for a woman on every date. He doesn’t have to pick up the check every time.
Being a real man means much more than following the guidelines of stereotypes that our society has already fed you. It’s more than following the example of some quirky actor in a rom-com. Being a real man means so much more than what you’ve seen in films or following the rules you’ve heard from your friends about how to get a woman in bed.
He knows and is fully aware that achieving a healthy relationship, doesn’t have step by step guidelines like some playbook. A real man doesn’t play games, because he knows what he wants and is willing to put in the effort it takes to get it. He doesn’t waste his time manipulating women for the fun of it, because he respects them and their time.
Just like a woman who has been on her own, he is also able to withstand times of hardship or loneliness without the need to fill that void with another.
When a real man finds someone he truly loves, that is the reason he pursues her. Not out of boredom.
It’s not a matter of what he has, what he looks like or whether he says the right things at the right time. It means willing to fully open up and lay out everything that is there for himself and her—his deepest emotions, regrets, longings, desires and passions.
A real man knows how to admit his feelings without being afraid of them. A real man is straightforward, open and honest to a woman—whether you’re on a first date or reaching your 15th anniversary. A real man appreciates the love and affection he receives from a woman and doesn’t question her motives. A real man listens, trusts unless proven otherwise and is able to connect with the woman he loves on a deeper level than others.
A woman who has been on her own has learned the ins and outs of herself in order to become the person and obtain the life she’s always dreamed of, if she hasn’t already achieved it.
The only way for her to truly relate and accept a significant other into her life is if he has done the same.
The men who have not reached this mentality and strength will only be forgotten.
Women who have been on their own don’t need you. Go ahead and stop texting them, bail on a night you had planned to hang out, “ghost” them, or disrespect them. It only makes the decision to end things with you that much easier.
You’re doing them a favor.
Instead of wasting time with you, they are able to wrap themselves up in blankets as they sit on their bed to finish writing a novel, plan out a day of work or even binge watch a show on Netflix—because even that is more worth their time than spending a night out with a man who can’t effectively communicate.
A woman who has spent enough time on her own knows this. She knows the value of time.
She knows herself and what she wants. There’s only so much we can do if a man doesn’t.