1. You think their friend is hot.
We’ve all thought it at some point, but nothing good comes from letting your partner know that you had a very entertaining dream starring their BFF. All you’re going to do is plant a seed of paranoia in their brain that grows every time you do so much as look in their friend’s direction.
2. You don’t like [insert their cherished family member].
Sure, their brother was kind of a jerk to you the last time you saw him. The two of you have nothing in common and disagree on almost every important issue. If he were your coworker, you would probably throw straw wrappers at him when his back was turned. But he’s not your coworker, he’s your partner’s brother, and they have a history that predates any political issues. So unless they outright tell you that they can’t stand their brother either, it’s probably best to keep mum on the issue.
3. They’re not 100% better than all of your exes.
When your partner asks about your exes, do not engage. Abort mission. They don’t actually want to know the truth about your exes; they just want to know that they’re way better than anyone else you’ve dated. Don’t mention that the person you dated in college was a fantastic cook. Just don’t. The only correct answer in this scenario is “No one compares to you, Babe.” Sure, your pants may be on fire and hanging from a telephone wire, but your relationship is still intact and that counts for something.
4. Your family isn’t their biggest fan.
We can all pretty much guess that our partner’s family isn’t going to think anyone is worthy of their precious child/brother/sister. Just as we don’t really want our partner confirming that their mom totally likes their ex more than you, they don’t want to hear that either. Family gatherings are awkward enough as is, there’s no need to add fuel to that fire.
5. They’re really bad at their favorite hobby.
It’s not like they’re about to release an album, so let them sing at the top of their lungs and live out their Adele dream. They probably already know that they’re not particularly gifted in that arena; it won’t be the end of the world to be their biggest fan, despite their tone deafness.
6. You’ve told your best friend absolutely everything about them.
It’s sort of an unspoken reality that your best friend knows absolutely everything about your life, but that doesn’t mean you need to remind your partner that you told your BFF about their embarrassing encounter with the frozen yogurt machine. (Plus, you tell your partner everything that happens with your best friend, so it evens out in the end.)