1. The Soloist
They were never seen in the band room without their instrument in hand, because they were massively talented and knew it. The band teacher probably even picked out particular music because there was a killer sax solo in it and they knew this student would destroy it metaphorically. Most other band kids had a love/hate relationship with them, kind of the way I imagine the members of Maroon 5 feel about Adam Levine.
2. The Real Section Leader
While The Soloist was probably first chair, the Real Section Leader was the second chair who was talented but more connected with the plebeians. They were the ones that gave helpful tips and probably ended up becoming a music teacher.
3. The One That Lived And Breathed Drumline
This one was incredibly serious about their craft, because they watched Drumline and had a spiritual awakening. They were never not drumming on something and always seemed to look ten times hotter when they had a snare drum strapped to their chest.
4. The Ross And Rachel
Are they together? Are they just friends? What’s going on??? Their romantic saga continued for the entirety of high school, and every other member of the band had extremely strong opinions about whether or not they should be together.
5. The Heart Of The Band
They may not have been the most talented of the band, but they were the reason everyone loved coming into class every day. They had the most spirit, and could lighten a room during the tensest moments of a late night rehearsal on the eve of a performance every single time.
6. The One That Was Just There For Elective Credit
They probably walked in on the first day and said, “It was either this or Debate, soooooo…” When the teacher asked what instrument they played, they responded in all seriousness, “I’m on the Expert level of Guitar Hero.”
7. The One That Could Play Every Instrument
There’s always one. They claim they’ve never touched a bassoon before, but give them two days, and they’re a bassoon master! They were most often found tinkering on a friend’s instrument, while everyone else watched in amazement.
8. The One That Stepped Out Of A Wes Anderson Flick
They were always rocking the thick-rimmed frames, and discussing the newest music to come from Iceland. You probably saw them with a tuba or trombone in hand, because why not.
9. The Billboard Top 40 DJ
They didn’t play songs from the actual Billboard Top 40, but they memorized their favorite licks from their favorite pieces of music that you played in class, and played it anytime they had a chance. They were the reason no one could ever get the melody of that song they played two years ago out of their head.
10. The Shy Star
They were secretly very talented, but no one knew because they were incredibly quiet and most likely buried in their sheet music during the down time, silently going over the toughest measures. You could usually find the instructor begging them to play louder almost constantly.
11. The Kinda Gross One
They weren’t “McPoyles Twins” gross, but they got an unusual amount of pleasure from emptying their spit valves onto the floor, and were always chuckling when anyone mentioned “fingerings.”
12. The Guitar Playing Casanova
They didn’t play guitar in band, but they always seemed to be seen playing “Wonderwall” during breaks. All the underclassmen were guaranteed to have a crush on them.
13. The Misunderstood Drummer
They picked up drumming because Travis Barker is seriously the coolest guy alive, and started a band with the Guitar Playing Casanova.
14. The Theorist
This one was always citing some obscure theory, and talking with the band instructor in a language that made everyone else in band feel a little guilty, because they should probably know what a modulation is too?
15. The Rolling Stone Reporter
They were on top of all music news, and held strong opinions about every musical artist under the Sun. You could find them with a pair of headphones eternally hung around their neck.
16. The Wardrobe Department
Whether they were appointed the position or not, they were the ones you went to on performance day when you forgot your black socks. If you were in marching band, they were the ones making sure that not a single shako or sash was out of place.
17. The Best Friends
That would be all of them, because love them or hate them, a band is a family, and all band kids will carry that connection with each other for the rest of their lives.