The Pros And Cons of Being Intelligent

Pros

Feel superior to others.

Ability to think yourself out of jams.

Might get to have a cool job like doctor/astronaut/CIA agent.

Can invent something cool, have a legacy.

Increased ability to get high and fuck around through all of college vs. having to study to maintain average GPA.

Increased ability to get high and fuck around through all of life vs. having to work hard to maintain average skillz.

Increased ability to manipulate drug dealers to sell you drugs for way less than they are worth by tricking them with simple math, the use of the metric system, and saying phrases such as ‘price per unit’, and/or bartering for them with stoner things like the DVD of Terminator 2 which you idly purchased from the bargain bin knowing how irresistible it would be to a high person looking for something to do at 2 a.m.

Know answers on Jeopardy. Feel smug about Trebek’s mediocrity.

Casually use words like ‘histrionics,’ ‘viscosity,’ ‘hegemony,’ and ‘teleological.’

Get to understand algorithms.

Can write relateable poetry about the alienation experienced from having untouchable wit and genius.

Cons

Probably won’t get to be in the CIA. ;(

Feel inferior to people who are still smarter.

Think of creative things to be afraid of: hypochondria, Russians, vast government conspiracies.

Ability to get high and fuck around hampered by increased ability to conceive of consequences.

Be on such a high intellectual plane that you forget to bathe, brush your teeth, wash your clothes, etc. (or at least you like to blame this on your smarts).

‘Art jokes.’

Literary magazines.

Decreased blog hits because no one knows what you’re talking about.

More difficult to make friends [via decreased ability to suffer fools, via not being a fool].

Increased desire to kill self after the dozenth guy you meet at a bar says he thinks Camus is ‘a really good band too.’

You are probably depressed.