1. The Puppy Dog
At first you really enjoyed all the attention he gave you. He showered you with affection every chance he could, and it felt really awesome for a while. But the puppy dog needs the same amount of affection back or else he will throw a tantrum. The constant “I like you” texts and the need to always be around each other became suffocating really fast. He does not understand the concept of alone time, he actually takes it personally when you just want to spend time by yourself. Compared to all his feelings, you seem emotionally unavailable. You were excited about having this fun, cute puppy, but now you want to send him back to the pound.
2. The Friend
You thought this was the best idea you ever had when it came to relationships. “We already hang out all the time and love the same things—what could go wrong?” Everything can go wrong. You were only friends in the first place for a reason. The first couple of dates were like something in a movie, but you started to get really sick of their shit, really fast. Everything about them started to annoy you and the feeling seemed to be mutual. Once you decide to break it off, you feel relieved at first, but then you start to miss them. You not only lost your boyfriend, but your best friend. Hopefully one day you two will make up and put this silly relationship behind you.
3. The Stalker
You had a sub-par relationship. Not bad, but nothing special. So you decide one day that you don’t feel like being with him anymore and break up with him. At first, he cries and then begs you not to do this. You stand your ground and say this is what is best for the both of them. He then gets angry and says “You’re making a huge mistake” before storming out. You know this isn’t the last you’ll hear from him. You receive drunk texts like “I dtikk duckinf kobbr yoi (I still fucking love you)” at least five times a week. He starts to like everything you post on Facebook and favoriting every tweet. He starts to leave things on your door step, like roses or Barbie doll parts. Finally, after a month (or six months) he found another girl to obsess over and you can go back to living your life.
4. The Artsy-Fartsy Type
Knit beanie, plaid shirt and jeans with paint stains on them. He always looks half awake and uninterested. That is what attracted you to him in the first place, the “aloof” look. At first you think he is so interesting and deep. He sees the world in the most artistic way and you wish that one day you can see it with him. But after many art galleries showings and indie movie dates, you see him for what he really is: a narcissistic douchebag. Not only did you think he was the most interesting person in the world, he thinks that he is the most interesting person in the world. You get so sick of his judgmental thoughts about everything, including you. Once you break up, he hides all feelings of sadness and acts as if he never cared in the first place.
5. The Co-Worker
Point blank: you started this relationship without thinking. It’s convent to start liking someone you work with, especially if you work all the time. It is nearly impossible to get over this person, because you have to see them the next day and the next day and the next day. The most awkward part is that everything you see them do, you see them doing it naked. You consider quitting every day but you can’t afford not having a job. You just deal with it and hope that someday you will miraculously be over it.
6. The “What-If” Type
So you broke up because it wasn’t the right time or someone moved away. The relationship was too new to make it work long distance. You’re not hung-up on him but you still wonder from time to time what could have been. And every time you look at his Facebook, the first thing you check is his relationship status.
7. The Asshole
Everyone has this ex. No matter what the relationship was, it didn’t end on a good note. You deleted his number, his Facebook, Instagram and Twitter because knowing he still exists makes you so angry inside. You’re not one to hold grudges, but you do secretly wish that he gets hit by a bus one day.