- Before you status update, Tweet, Tumble or Instagram, pause and say to yourself, “is it entirely necessary that I share this morsel of thought with my entire social network?”and if the answer is not, “yes, I absolutely must,” then step away from the Internet.
- Know which candidate you’re going to vote for in the upcoming presidential election, and know why.
- Enough with the 14-day juice cleanses. If you want to lose a little weight quickly, eat less and exercise like crazy. If you want to lose a lot of weight slowly, do whatever Jennifer Hudson did.
- If you really like the person you’re hooking up with and would like them to be your boyfriend/ girlfriend, find a way to tell them, and hope for the best. If you don’t and wouldn’t, stop.
- Find a way to save approximately 300 dollars and spend it on a flight to see a friend or family member who lives far away.
- Please stop liking the Kardashians, all of them. It’s not helping anyone, least of all the Kardashians.
- Spend less than or equal to the money you earn each month.
- Wear clothes that fit you, especially to work.
- Call someone on the phone at least once a week, and speak to him or her for at least ten minutes.
- Start preparing now to get over the fact that Facebook is probably going to change again in six months. You’re not going to deactivate your account. You don’t know how.
- Wait 30 seconds before you look up a fact you can’t remember on your phone, and try to remember it using your brain. This is what the olden days were like.
- Replace one terrible reality show you’re currently watching with one wonderful scripted show currently available on television. Swap suggestion: Real Housewives of Anywhere for HBO’s Enlightened.
- Try that food you think you don’t like but have never actually tried, unless it’s brussels sprouts. They really don’t need any more attention.
- Cut one person out of your life who you truly do not like and add one person who you truly do. Note: not on Facebook, on Earth.
- If you’re still blacking out regularly, you should stop.
- Volunteer once over the next 90 days. You’ll feel really good about it, and probably end up volunteering again over the next 275.
- Tell someone who you love that you love them on a more regular basis. To their face, not in a text.
- Back up your entire online life onto an external hard drive, especially your photos.
- Crap or get off the pot. This applies to whatever thing you’re not doing that you should just sack up and do already.
- And in the eternal words of Tom Haverford, “TREAT YO SELF!”
image – Jeff Golden
