1.
Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no
— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) March 28, 2015
2.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/735940311097085952
3.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/763094249759838209
4.
WIFE: Your life as a YouTube star is tearing us apart
ME: What makes you say that? Let me know in the comments
— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) June 18, 2016
5.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/762431840879644674
6.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/761591806400143364
7.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/761281577380827136
8.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/761280023034683392
9.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/759801987642687488
10.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/758731148939829249
11.
doctor: your wife has gone into labour
me: oh no
wife (yelling from a distance): RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE
— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) July 24, 2016
12.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/756492024560300032
13.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/755394219124981760
14.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/754464539228278785
15.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/753992567356727296
16.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/753383156334473216
17.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/752851651178799104
18.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/752583503674355712
19.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/751768455032893440
20.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/751480008225337346
21.
It was easier to pick a career when the only choices were farming and witchcraft
— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) July 3, 2016
22.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/749606873767170048
23.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/749241329629081601
24.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/747443182816768000
25.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/747109499639472128
26.
me: lord if you’re up there, give me a sign
booming voice from above: LOG OFF
me: that could’ve been anyone
— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) June 24, 2016
27.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/745715987576557568
28.
*sees tweet expressing an opinion*
Ah, an invitation to argue, directed specifically to me— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) June 22, 2016
29.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/745281033117917185
30.
GF: If you don't stop pretending to be a news anchor I will leave you
ME (into the camera): Breaking: my heart
— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) June 21, 2016
31.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/743248248035434497
32.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/741379518414258176
33.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/740701505427099648
34.
i've heard of "selling out" in order to be successful and my question is how do i do that. how do i sell out
— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) June 2, 2016
35.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/738011997648748545
36.
[greeting aliens]
Hello, we are the smartest animals on this planet. Every week we give the grass a little haircut— as a member of the dumbass community, (@InternetHippo) June 1, 2016
