1. He’s Flaky
If you’re both in a pre-planned location, at any stage in the relationship, you should acknowledge each other’s presence. This means, no Irish goodbyes accepted. Seriously. It takes two seconds to say ‘bye’ to someone, regardless of your reasoning. But don’t bounce with no warning.
2. He Lies
This can extend beyond just male suitors, because anyone who lies to you isn’t worth your time anyway. But, if you catch them in a bold-faced lie, you should recognize that you deserve better and should not have to be treated like you’re second priority. Or third, fourth, fifth, etc.
3. He’s Passive
You know the type here. He takes hours to respond to a text, when you know he’s always on his phone. Or he never initiates the conversation, when you can’t stop thinking about him. In a relationship, it should be a compromise – so meet in the damn middle. He should be excited to hear from you; talk to you; see how things are going. While I don’t want to feel completely suffocated by constant messages, it’s truly only considered ‘effort’ if frequency is more than once a week.
4. He’s Cheap
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again – the man should always pay for the first date. Afterwards, you do what you’re comfortable with. But if you’re always paying, or he’s always bringing you to McD’s, maybe you should reconsider where this is going.
5. He’s Unimpressed
I’m not asking to be treated like a Disney Princess, or like I’m an angel that landed on planet Earth. But, I do want to feel like he has some kind of interest in me. If he seems to just treat this like another date this week, that’s probably all it really is to him, and you should cut him loose.
6. He’s Inappropriate
We all swear, but there’s a time and a place. Like, for example, when your fantasy team is getting crushed and your top running back gets injured. That’s a totally acceptable time to drop a royal curse word (or three). I’m just asking that maybe texts from men don’t include words like ‘boner’ and phrases like ‘fuckery’ when they are trying to woo me via text. This is a friendly request, please and thank you.
7. He’s Exhausting
If you constantly feel like you’re riding the positive train for two, it takes a lot of energy. People have bad days – I get that. But if this is a regular occurrence, you may want to think about how much time you’re dedicating mentally as this person’s therapist. I don’t have a PhD, so I’m not qualified to iron out your woes on the daily. It’s also a glaringly obvious sign if you make a loud sigh when you receive another message (that’s typically in the form of a complaint) from him.
8. He’s High
Some people have a tolerance for dating people who are heavily into drugs. I’m not one to participate, but I can deal with non-hardcore drug use here and there. HERE AND THERE. This means, I don’t want to date your bong, cocaine addiction, heroine needle, or the like. If he’s constantly under the influence of drugs, who is the man you’re actually dating? Lord only knows. Oh, and if he’s hiding a prescription medication from you, find that shit out ASAP – he’s probably hiding it for a reason.
9. He’s Inconsiderate
People have feelings, you know? If he doesn’t take that into consideration before saying, ‘you’re fat. You should lose some weight’ to your face, he’s a big, stinking (also, on a semi-related note, if he literally smells…drop him) LOSER. This probably stems from some insecurities he has, but you shouldn’t be the dumping ground for his criticism; he should love you for you, and request nothing more, and nothing less. Send him packing if he doesn’t.
10. He’s Spineless
If he has difficult conversations with you through text, like, for example, that he’s breaking up with you, you deserve a lot better. That is a conversation that should take place in person, face-to-face; no matter how hard it will be, it’s over a lot quicker with a phone call, too.