Jeremy Helligar

You don’t give people a chance. On your 28th birthday, on the way to dinner with you and your friend Dave, she read you like a book. She said you give up on people too easily, and that’s why you were chronically single. Dave agreed.

Every story – even love stories that have been over for years, or decades – can be rebooted in an instant. It’s not until the real end, death without quotation marks, that “closure” in the truest sense of the word can be achieved, and then, only for those who are no longer around to benefit from it.

He falls in love with Robin at first sight, foolishly tells her so on their first date, and then makes the dumbest lovesick moves to get her. He’s neurotic, obsessive, nerdy, and a little more into her than she’s into him. So far, so Ross. But unlike Ross, who was genuinely nice to a fault, Ted can be such a douche bag.