1. You Have Drifted From Some Of Your Friends
This is not always a bad thing. This does not mean you are not best friends anymore, but maybe it is just not exactly the same anymore. You may no longer be living together, one of you may have gotten a new significant other, you may no longer be working together. The dependency you once had for each other is fading. This is not always, because you do not need them anymore or you do not want them in your life anymore. Simply now your life is different. Your priorities have changed, you have become more independent.
Sometimes this drift is a just a simple independent shift…and sometimes it’s more than that. Sometimes people drift, because you have progressed and they have not… They are still doing the same things they always have and they are perfectly content with it. However you aren’t anymore.
This friendship is fading, because you are having trouble finding common ground. This friendship could be fading, because you think they are holding you back. The truth is no one can hold you back, but yourself. You are slowly learning to stop pointing fingers at others, and take the blame for your feelings of inadequacy. Taking responsibility for your self-pity can be more rewarding than you believe, because this is the uncomfortable process you were afraid of.
You have come to terms that you won’t be young forever. Life is now and sometimes you need to take risks. And you need to do this alone without your friends as a security blanket.
2. These Risks May Change You
Change can be scary. I am a huge fan of “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it”. At the same time, you can still just be sitting there in the passenger seat letting life pass you by. Nothing will ever get better if things never change.
I know it is cliché, but you do have to step out of your comfort zone. If you never step out of your comfort zone, you will never truly know what you love. You only love what you know.
3. You Actually Appreciate Your Alone Time
Naps why did I ignore you so much as a child? I would give anything to go back to a world where naps were in the strict schedule. You will appreciate your phone being turned off and the simple sound of your thoughts. You are in desperate need of alone time to recharge your batteries.
You used to think you were a “people person”, you used to consider yourself “social”. But there is overkill for everything. Maybe you are in sales and you have to always be “on” at work, maybe you have just finally admitted you are tired and you do not really care what everyone else thinks anymore.
You have become selfish, in the best way possible. You have lost the ability to care about the small stuff. You know life is really about the bigger picture. You can’t pretend to care about things that do not matter anymore. Time is of the essence, you are finally understanding that.
4. Failure Is No Longer Called Failure, It’s Called Growth
Up until now everything has kinda gone your way (for the most part). Mistakes used to mean failure. Loss used to mean regret. Those words have different meanings to you now. Mistakes are no longer failure, they are called lessons. Loss is no longer regret, it is called an experience. This “failure”, this “regret” was a part of your process. This experience changed you. In the end, you learned you needed that. You needed to fall to rise higher. You needed to lose something, to want something better. You needed to be kicked down, so you can stand by yourself.
Those lowest moments, the ones that you dread to admit to yourself. Those darkest days shaped who you are. Remember you need to know misery, to know happiness. You need to appreciate the difference. That struggle that you once called a mistake, will soon be your greatest accomplishment.
5. Things That Used To Mean Everything To You, Slowly Start To Mean Nothing
You care less about what you look like and more about your goals. You care less about your love interests and more about your career. You start revolving your life around your passion not a person. Winning is no longer everything, it’s only one thing. Being popular does not matter at all anymore. You would actually love to have less people to talk to you. You become selective, because you realize your time is precious not expendable.
You are learning to live in the moment and be practical at the same time. You have been around the block by now. Life has kicked you around and taught you a thing or two. You know not to take things for granted (you learned that the hard way). You know when to stop wasting your time. Most of all you know life is now.
You have had your routine and you have gotten comfortable. You have loved and you have lost. You realize nothing is for sure, but if you don’t take these chances now you never will. You understand there is more than going out to the same bar every weekend with the same group of friends. There is more to life than Netflix and chill, and working to live. Those activities are trivial to you now. You are bored. You want to be challenged. You want to become the person “you wanted to be when you grew up”, because guess what? (hate to break it to you) you are supposed to be a grown up by now.
6. You Learn How To Take Action
You used to live your life day by day. Maybe you still do…I do. Yet even though it’s day by day, it’s different now. The day is now structured, because you realize you kinda need a plan if you want to be successful. Nothing falls on your lap.
Good things do not happen to people who wait. Good things happen when you make them happen. Your dream job isn’t going to wait for you to wake up and make it happen. You need to figure out what you actually want and make a plan and this needs to be something you do every day.
This is not one of those… “maybe I will write my first manuscript and get published by the time I am 30”. I am sorry that is never going to happen unless this is something that is active in your life. Change only happens when it is continuous. Goals do not work out when you partially commit. You need to learn how to make this a part of your routine. You need to put yourself out there, ask for advice, and second opinions. Asking for help is not weak, it is smart.
You are learning to manage your time. With that being said, you are really grasping how little time you actually have to achieve everything you want. Having a career, social life, trying to go to the gym, maybe picking up hobby, oh and sleeping does not always fit in one day. You have learned to prioritize what actually matters to you. That is why you are seeing your friends less, dating less, obsessing over what people think of you less.
This is why you feel like you are changing, because you are prioritizing. You are realizing you don’t have time to pretend to be someone you are not. This is why you feel “not yourself anymore”. This is why you aren’t sure who you ever were to begin with. You are just starting to grasp what life is really about. This is why everything you thought you used to know, now means nothing. This is why you feel lost, because you have realized how much life you still have to discover.