For some reason I flash back to when I was a kid and an older child took my swing at recess, and so I yelled out “that’s not fair” in my loudest whiny kid voice. Because it wasn’t fair. Fast forward to my adult self, and I still think sometimes I feel like that same kid whose swing was taken, but now I can’t yell in public, or to professionals, or to other adults, or to my friends, or to doctors, or to anyone. In fact, the older we grow, I think the more we just grow accustomed to these larger acts of unfairness.

The interesting thing is, at one point in our lives, I think we all wanted to believe life was fair. This belief that if I work hard, I will be successful. That if I go to college and get good grades, I will get a 6-figure paying job after graduation. That if I love my significant other hard enough, they will never leave me.

While I will always believe that “the harder I work, the luckier I’ll get,” we have all felt the ugly wrath of how unfair life can be.

In fact, sometimes life feels so unfair that I practically beg for Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell me it’s all just a prank. I wish that were true, but the reality is it’s tough. Each and every one of us will go through those moments where all you can think of is the phrase, “When it rains, it pours.”

So how do you fix it? How do you make everything fair? How do you go through life without all of these damn setbacks?

Well, I can’t tell you it’s going to be a walk in the park, but in simple terms, I can tell you it’s going to be okay. You must know it will not last forever, whatever is thrown in your path. With time, it will fade. Bear the confusion and focus on living in the present.

There’s no point in wallowing in unfairness. Don’t let your whole life be, “I’d be happier if this happened.” What good will come out of continuing to focus on what’s not working and what appears to be unfair?

Because when everything else feels heavy, sometimes all it takes is a little perspective.

And I can tell you that the people who get through the unfair crap make a choice. It’s not the situations and circumstances they let define them. No, they make a choice to change their perspective. To look past the bad and remember that a brighter future awaits. So here, take my swing, I will get the next one.