10 Signs You’re Dating An Alien
After resigning yourself to a single life with carpal tunnel from swiping left too often, it happens: You meet a really great guy. He’s so great you’re shocked he even decided to ask you on a date to begin with. He’s everything you ever dreamed of, almost too good to be true. Maybe he is. Maybe he isn’t human at all. Maybe he’s so incredible and so good that he absolutely has to be from a different plant, a different world, a different galaxy.
So how do you know? How do you know if this incredible guy is actually an alien? Here are 10 identifiers:
1. He tells you he’s really excited for the date and can’t wait to see you.
2. He makes eye contact with you and doesn’t look away when you’re telling an intense, deeply personal story. He makes you feel like he’s there with you.
3. He laughs at your jokes in a non-ironic way. Like he actually thinks you’re funny.
4. He listens as you talk about things you’re passionate about or interested in without rolling his eyes or trying to change the topic. Hell, he even joins in on the conversation and asks questions. He’s an active participant in your conversation about Lord of the Rings.
5. He does not laugh at your choice of vodka soda with a splash of cran, nor does he turn his nose up at your decision to order a white wine spritzer or forgo alcohol completely. He’s just…really supportive.
6. You like the Backstreet Boys’ Millennium album? SO DOES HE!
7. He holds the door open for you, even though he knows you can do it yourself.
8. He doesn’t think you’re weird for having an obscure passion/hobby. He thinks it’s cool and asks questions because he’s interested in learning more about something you care about.
9. He wants to walk you to your apartment to make sure you get home safe. At the door, he doesn’t try any funny stuff, doesn’t even mention going upstairs. He just gives you a hug goodnight and promises to talk soon.
10. He texts you the next morning to let you know what an amazing night he had and how he can’t wait to see you again. 