Not all exes are equal. Even as you grieve some relationships, you also usually feel relieved. The end of the relationship means you are free to do the thing most girls prevent you from doing when you’re together: practicing your independence. Suddenly the pressure is gone and the only person you have to work on pleasing is yourself.
If you’re working on building your career, there’s no one to disappoint when you want to stay at the office late or spend your weekend getting ahead. You can eat the food you like or get up early to work out without anyone guilting you back to bed. You can watch Netflix all day without someone thinking you’re lazy or asking you to do something you don’t want to do. You can flirt with other girls and see what else is out there without being tied down to one. You don’t have to answer to anyone and the future is open, promising.
But everyone — even the stoic guy who is always assuring everyone that he loves being a bachelor — missing being in a relationship from time to time.
From little twinges of regret when you’re craving a simple hit of sex or affection or just feeling lonely to actually living through waking regret over letting your relationship end the amount you fixate on your ex varies. However, there’s one thing the girls that stick with you the longest have in common: they were their partner’s best friend.
Best friends have fun together, share a sense of humor, and — most importantly — support each other. Women tend to have many close friends that they can open up to and call on when they need support. But for many men, often their close male friends aren’t big sources of emotional support, so when they break up with a girl who filled the role of “best friend”, they’re enduring a double break up: losing their romantic partner and their emotional support system in one go.
Girls that are their partner’s best friends are a supportive pillar in their lives. They make them feel loved in a way that goes beyond the typical relationship: there is a constant state of being on each other’s team. When you fight, you’re working together to solve a problem. There’s less of the push and pull of battling each other to see who’s “the one who cares less”.
After the breakup, you always wonder if this kind of girl was the one, even if you’re fairly happen in another relationship years later. There’s something about the comfortable ease you have with someone who is a good friend to you. They’re fun. There’s not as much pressure as you normally face with girls who make you work for every little thing and never end up making you feel all that good about yourself.
The best friend girl is the one you miss. The one you measure all future girls against. The one you regret letting go.