7 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me When I First Started Trying To Impress Women

1. What women say they want is not what they actually want (and they don’t realize this).

Women aren’t stupid. But they are idealistic where men are realistic. So, women will tell you they want a well-mannered man who is responsible, caring and generous while being sexually attracted to men who don’t dote on them. They tell you what they wish they wanted while continuing to want what biology tells them to want. Women like to be the hunters, too. There’s no faster way to make a woman lose interest than by giving her too much security.

2. Men are in the driver’s seat.

Everyone everywhere thinks that women are the gatekeepers of sex because men want sex so much more often than women do, so men have to work for it while it falls into a woman’s lap whenever she wants it. However, this is only true for people without standards. If you’re a man it’s fairly easy to make yourself desirable by being fit, having a good job, and applying rule number one above. Inevitably you will have interest from more than one woman at a time and since women are hardwired to compete with one another, you will be in the driver’s seat, able to select which woman you prefer.

3. Women are not the center of the world.

As a teenager, women seem like the most important thing in the world. Every guy wants to lose his virginity as soon as possible and get it out of the way. Every guy can’t wait to start having sex and experiencing women so women on the whole can become an obsession. There’s so much more to life than sex and dating and the best part is the more you realize this the easier sex and dating become because you don’t obsess over a certain girl. She’ll text you and you may be busy reading, running, or with another hobby. By the time you do respond to her, she knows that she isn’t the center of your universe and she won’t feel content to act like it. This isn’t a punishment, no one acts their best when they thing they’ve got it in the bag. It’s always better to feel like an underdog (ask the #USMNT).

4. A very easy way to impress a woman is with traditionally manly tasks.

Help her move, fix something in her house or her car, pick her up when she is stranded somewhere or get some other creep to stop bugging her at a bar. It’s cliche, but it goes a long way.

5. There are some people who will put up with anything to be in a relationship (don’t be one of them).

The amount of shit I’ve seen women put up with when they should be dumping someone is off the charts. But it’s always easier to stay the course than it is to chart a new one, I guess. And let this be a warning to men because we do the same thing: if a relationship is terrible get the fuck out. It’s not going to improve. It’s best to find a better person and try again.

6. Be extremely vigilant about birth control.

Condoms suck. They do. But it is how you keep control in your life. As much as you trust a woman, you are never 100% certain that she is taking her birth control responsibly if that’s the method you’re using. A condom is the only way you can be in control of your own future, and even then it’s not always effective. The harsh reality is that if you get a girl pregnant, your future is in her hands. You have no say what happens. Child support is really fucking expensive and you’re also signing up to deal with this woman for the absolute rest of your life. I can’t stress how big of a hit this can be on your overall quality of life. Be careful.

7. Who you marry is the most important decision of your life. Do a lot of vetting.

I’m not married yet but the majority of my friends are. The reviews are decent but what I’ve noticed is that you can’t tell from meeting the girl whether she will be a great partner. Some of my friend’s spouses are hot women who seem cool but are illogical or bratty and refuse to discuss issues rationally with my friends. The person you marry has the power to make your life incredible (some of them do feel this way) or miserable. If you have kids or are successful career wise divorce isn’t much of an option, so it really is worth it to hold out for the absolute best you can find. Make sure she doesn’t whine in a fight and listens to what you want. Make sure she doesn’t spend money like a crazy person. Make sure she can discuss issues and act like an adult. Women have more power than men in a marriage because divorce hurts men more. Marrying the right one is the one thing that has the biggest impact on the rest of your life. Oh, and never date someone who withholds sex as a punishment. Some men say that staying single is the only answer to this. That’s too much of a lonely life for me, but it’s an option.