It’s an unfortunate reality that some couples are couples not because they are passionately in love, but because it’s easier to stay together than it is to break up. Here’s some signs your relationship is over in all but name and Facebook status:

1. You never fight

It may seem like a good thing if you and your man never fight, but take it from a dude — I never want to be wrong…. until I stop caring. When the passion is gone in a relationship it means the good stuff that’s supposed to fuel you through the bad stuff is no longer there, meaning, there’s simply no point in pretending I care if the girl has wacky opinions about something. The relationship is no longer going anywhere, I’ll let you have your way simply so we can stop talking about it.

2. He’s always on his phone

And what am I doing while I’m waiting for her to stop the one-sided argument I’m passively agreeing to? Scrolling through my phone. Texting my buddies to see if they are doing something, anything, I can join up with and get out of this situation. I might even be texting a new girl — nothing that crosses the line, but maybe dipping my toes in the water.

3. Sweatpants are his uniform

This guy has given up, clearly, if you only see him in sweats or other loose-fitting, casual clothing. When men care about a woman, they want to look good and impress her. A lot of men don’t know what constitutes looking good, sure, but most at least know a clean shirt and something other than cotton or jersey material is the way to go.

4. You initiate everything

Do you ever get the feeling that your relationship would be completely over if you stop initiating texts or hang outs? It probably would be. There’s no excuse for a relationship where one person does all the initiating, it means the other party is either disinterested or being suffocated by someone who wants a lot more interaction than they do. Take a step back, and allow the other person to show you what they want.

5. They seem impatient

Most men and women are very different, and relating to someone who is very different from you takes patience. For instance, it takes me 20 minutes to get out the door in the morning: wake up, shower, comb hair, brush teeth, eat breakfast, out the door. Most girls take at least an hour, and then they are more than happy to make their man wait for them. This is totally fine when your relationship is great. When it’s not great, things like this are no longer handled delicately… If he’s yelling at you over small things, there is no way his head is still in it. No one wants to treat someone they love that way, it just slips out when you stop viewing them in that light.

6. You always go dutch

Some guys bitch about paying for dates because of feminism (or whatever). It’s just whining, the fact is that if you really care about someone, you want to impress them. If you want to impress them you try to look decent, plan something that sounds fun, and offer to pay. Period. If a guy doesn’t offer to pay, he doesn’t care about impressing you. Do with that information what you will.

7. He’s secretive

It’s not that men suddenly become secretive when they lose interest in their relationship, it’s that men are not by nature sharers of information in the same way females are. It seems like work to go on about our day and converse about minutiae, but we’ll do it because girls like that stuff. When we’re checked out it’s just not worth the effort anymore, so you’ll get more one word responses.

8. His friends seem weird

Most guys will be nice to their friend’s girl, but usually not overly so. But when he starts talking about how he’s “going to end it” they can’t help but treat you differently. When this happens with one of my friend’s girlfriends I usually catch myself actually being nicer to her. I feel bad about the situation, but deep down, I’m also wondering if I have a chance to be her rebound.

9. You have less sleepovers

The sex may not dwindle, but the cuddling will. It’s hard to cuddle with someone you just aren’t connected to.

10. He’s never jealous

Jealousy is a range — some people rarely get jealous and some people are constantly jealous (which, in general, is never a good thing). The thing to watch for is a change in how they behave. At the beginning of the relationship were they curious if you were hanging out with other guys vs. just girls? Did they worry when you left the house in a revealing outfit? If your guy used to care and suddenly can’t be bothered, that’s a red flag.