We are in a Peter Pan man epidemic.
A whole collective of sparkly, fun, playful, curious, adventurous enticing men who will hook you, but are also not reliable, present, supportive or considerate.
These are the men who blow you off, don’t show up and forget about plans because they are too flowy and self involved in themselves.
Some but not all ‘Peter Pan’ men were likely only children and got all the attention all the time. They are used to it from their parents and have created relationships with people as adults who will also give them that same level of attention.
It’s normal for them — they collect it in their charisma and charm while lighting a room on fire.
Peter Pan men sometimes are so accustomed to this constant attention, and believe the world revolves solely around them so deeply, that they can be narcissistic and completely self absorbed because no one has ever told them the sun doesn’t shine from their ass.
Peter Pan men likely have had very forgiving parents and women in their lives so they know absolutely nothing about taking accountability for their floating vagueness and why it can hurt and be disrespectful.
They have big balls, huge really, and will probably tell you but have very little courage to show up in a way that will feel supportive and loving to you.
Peter Pan men are sometimes avoidant of conversations where they could be held accountable, because they are in flow, and having fun and just want you to chill.
They will trade you in for a low maintenance version if you make a fuss.
“Let’s just cruise baby, let’s just flow baby.”
It is extremely fun being with a Peter Pan man when you’re with him, but the second he’s not with you — he’s in his world and not about you.
Peter Pan men have very little emotional capacity to hold space for your feelings because, as noted above, they are not present enough to be a supportive or reliable partner.
They’re fun, they’re sparkly, they are our kryptonite, ladies — and they also suck.
I am not a ‘Peter Pan’ woman— I am a liberated, emotionally intelligent courageous lion of a woman and this is how I love:
I’m flow, but I also will have your back.
And if I say I’ll be there, I’ll be there on time.
And if I have to reschedule you’ll feel how sorry I am to shift my word, because my word has weight and I respect you as much as I respect my word to myself.
I will play, but I will also stop playing and forget about myself and the distracting sparkly things in my life to hold you as if you’re the only human on this whole earth if you need my love and support.
I will not be your rock, I will be your legs and the earth beneath us.
I have a a galaxy of sparkle in my eye, but I understand that it’s a reflection of your light and the universes light therefore you will always be sacred to me, even when you can’t muster any sparkle.
To love me is to show up for me, and if I love you, to love you will be to show up for you.
Did I say that my word has weight?
The weight of Saturn.
The weight of the foot of the gods as it comes down and shakes this planet in an earthquake so deep you will know in each crevice of your bones that I’m here, and I’ve got you.
I won’t show up for you with my phone in my hand, or with a half present brain, I’ll show up with open hands and space for you.
If I’m not present, I’ll know I’m not being present and acknowledge this, and remind you that you are more important than anything else circling my world.
I am sparkly, but I am not afraid to be serious and to hold space for the seriousness that life throws at us.
Your shadow will not scare me away, and your light will never make me crouch and wish to steal it from you.
And most importantly, I will never be so important that my story takes precedence over you.
The next time a ‘Peter Pan’ man comes around, enjoy him for a laugh and a sparkle and then see him for what he is and let him go.
He is not the man who will hold your heart with ferocious might and be beside you the day you wake up in the hospital.
People show us who they are, so be aware to see and listen.