Why Your Obsession With Dating Is Actually Making It Harder To Find Your Forever Person


There’s this new “in vogue” phrase, I don’t know if you’ve read it yet: your Forever Person. It’s the new way to say “soulmate” or “eternal flame.” It’s that person who will always, always, ALWAYS be there for you. And we all need one. I mean, we all need an (all caps) Forever Person. What are we without a Forever Person? Our BFF has a Forever Person, where is ours? Let’s read sixteen articles on how we find ours, because well, because we need it!

When our obsession with finding love surpasses your obsession for a full life, you have a problem.

I’m coming in hot here with an unpopular opinion maybe, but you cannot allow your love for life to be eclipsed by your love for a relationship. Our lives are blank canvasses, waiting for us to etch our journeys upon them. Part of those journeys — and in many cases, BIG parts — of those journeys involve a longterm significant other. Be it a wife, husband, partner, soulmate, or yes, even a “Forever Person,” many of us will have fulfilling longterm relationships. And that is a good thing. That is great.

But if we make our life about only that one aspect, what else are we losing? If we spend every weekend only trying to find dates at the bar, or we find our lazy afternoons only swiping away at dating apps, or we waste valuable minutes, hours, and days fretting over when our soulmate will enter the picture, we are literally wasting our lives. 

Having a loving significant other is one single part of having a full life. A full life does not come only after finding a loving significant other.

A full life does not immediately follow a great first date, or a solid relationship, or even marriage. A happy life is not contingent on falling asleep next to someone you call “babe.” A happy life is something you build out of an array of factors, only one of which is your dating life.

There are so many other things to look forward to in your life. Your job, traveling, hobbies, great friends, taking care of pets, getting closer to your parents, volunteering, and so so much more. Do not lose sight of the forest for the trees. Your life is bigger than your relationship status on Facebook. Your life is more important than your “Forever Person.”

After all, in order to find your forever love, you must first find yourself.

You must experience life, not wait for love to deliver itself as a silver bullet. You must overcome challenges, struggle against adversity, achieve your goals, and fight for your dreams. That’s how you become happy, and that’s how you grow into the person that your forever person will one day love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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