You Make Me Feel Like A First Love All Over Again

I’m not going to sugarcoat it.

Make no mistake about what I’m about to say: You’re not my first love, but you make me feel like I’ve found that all over again.

While there’s plenty I could say about all the mushy stuff you make me feel, I feel that comes with any relationship you want to make work. That’s obvious. I’ve learned to not read so much into those feelings, as well as being sure not to read too much into the infatuation stage of a potential love. I’ve learned by now that most of us have a tendency to do that when we trust the journey of a new relationship.

You make me feel like a first love all over again. Let me explain…

There’s a kindred feeling about the uncertainty in what happens next.

One of the things that made my first love so beautiful (and eventually tragic) was the uncertainty I felt as a teenager in love. I had never felt what I was feeling before, but I was crazy about that feeling! Sneaking late night calls, the letters in my locker, the walks to class, it made things unpredictable and exciting. There’s something about you that puts me back into that fragile stage of mind, and it’s magnetic for me.

I want to know everything about you.

It’s almost an adolescent feeling, for a lack of better words. I want to learn more about you and how you need to be loved—even more about the way you want to love me. It’s familiar, but new and refreshing at the same time. Being older and wiser, I’m able to appreciate that.

You make me think about whether or not this could really be it.

I find myself thinking about where this will take us often. I don’t take anything I experience with you lightly. With positive intention, I focus on the positive experiences while still paying attention to the negative experiences. I’m putting real effort towards trying to see OUR big picture. It’s special to me.

I can feel the passion.

I feel that same little giddy feeling I felt when I used to spend time with my first love. It’s different, but again, familiar. I want to be around you all the time. Even if we’re not doing anything. I can appreciate it more because I’m not begging for your time like I did with my first love; it’s reciprocated without request. I can tell that what I’m feeling isn’t just my desire, but yours as well.

There’s a vulnerability that makes me feel like I’m not in this alone.

I said it once, but I’ll say it again. I get a thrill from the vulnerability and uncertainty felt in our love. I know the love is there. I’m just dying to find out how far it can take us. I love when you make me feel young again. I love when I express my love to you in a way that you weren’t expecting. And I want to be clear that I don’t take that for granted. I want to be a safe space for you, so I accept the vulnerability with open arms.

I see such beautiful potential in what we share.

Who doesn’t love something new, right? Outside of the tenderness of our relationship, I’m enticed by the possibilities of our relationship. I adore the thought of what we could really bring out of one another. Like with a first love, it’s a first of many kinds. It’s new and fresh, and in that sense, it’s addicting. I can’t get enough of what you make me feel.  I’m curious. I’m invested. I’m hooked.

I’m hopeful that things will work out between us.

This is not to be mistaken with what I mentioned about the vulnerability or uncertainty of our relationship. I’m hopeful that things will go well. I want this to go well, which—I’ve got to be honest—is surprising AF with how the dating scene has been for me, specifically in the past few years. I’m here for it, honey. I’m bragging on you already.

While I’m enamored by the previously mentioned, I’m so proud of how cautious I’ve been with my heart.

Last but certainly not least, I appreciate the discernment I feel. I need to be careful with my heart this time, but I have reason to trust that you understand that. I don’t want this to be like my first love—a lost love. I’ve granted myself a personal responsibility to make sure that I believe in all the good we share while still taking heed to the bad. I hadn’t learned to do that with my first love and that, in my opinion, is why things failed.

I believe in us, just the same way I did my first love.

I’m a little afraid of it, but you make me feel like my first love all over again. Let’s do our best to make this worth it. I’m all in.