I’m scared, excited, turned on, hopeful, and full of a bunch of other emotions I’m going to try my best to explain here. There’s one thing you should remember when dealing with a woman like me. It was a conscious decision of mine to even entertain getting to know you. That might sound a little bitchy, but what I’m trying to say is, we’re a possibility because I wanted us to be. If we weren’t a possibility because I shot my shot in the first place, we’re definitely a possibility because of the decision I made to bite whatever bait you were offering up. While all of that may be confusing, there’s one thing you don’t need to question yourself about. I like you. I like you a lot. While I may not articulate it well or make it obvious, I like the idea of me and you–an ‘us.’
This is me saying hello to the possibility of us.
The truth is, I’m scared as hell to fall for you, but I can’t stop myself from doing so. There’s something about you that’s had my attention from ‘hello.’ Sometimes I can put my finger on it and other times, I can’t. Still, I can’t shake that feeling. It’s like more I like you the more I tell myself not to. That love and relationships are always risky and heartbreaking… and then you do that one thing that makes me say, fuck it. He’s worth it. So please forgive me when I seem a little distant. It’s not your fault; I’m trying to keep my shit together. I’m trying to balance being scared of how I’m feeling and showing those feelings at the same time.
I know you might think it silly of me to be scared of just the possibility of us, but the possibility of ‘us’ comes in a pretty vivid picture for me. It’s no secret that I fall hard and fast, but I do that because of the hopefulness I’m filled with. That’s me, the hopeful, hopeless romantic. You have to be honest, right now monogamy and finding ‘true love’ almost feel like a fantasy these days. So many people in our generation “aren’t looking for anything serious” or are too “woke” to appreciate the traditional ways of doing things, so finding someone who awakens that desire for love inside of me gets my brain going. It starts that vivid picture of you and me that I can’t help but to fall in love with.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m down for taking things slow, but I expect this to actually lead something serious. I want to be clear, while I’m hopeful that ‘us’ would be defined as a relationship, I know some guys like to pull that ‘us’ shit without the “complication of any titles” and I’m not for that. US will mean just that. You and me in a relationship that will hopefully be fruitful and serious in time. So yes, let’s take our time and court each other. Let’s spend time getting to know each other. Let’s wait awhile before going to the next level, but let’s make it a goal to get to the next level. I”m not rushing you or pressuring you, but we’re both grown and I’m always going to speak up for what I want and I want you–all of you.
This is me saying hello to the possibility of us.