Dear Men, Please Just Grow Up

João Silas
João Silas

Dear men,

I’m not sure if no one has ever told you, but if you tell a woman you’re going to do something, she expects you to do it. If you tell her she’s the only woman in your life, she is going to believe that she is the only woman in your life. If you tell her you love her, she is going to believe that you wouldn’t hurt her.

Moral of the story is… MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. If you’re not going to do that, don’t be shocked when she actually believes whatever bullshit you’re feeding her.

What’s worse is that she’s going to believe you so much that even when her friends try and show her what a creep-o you are, she’s still going to defend you until she has proof that you’re a scumbag and depending on how into you she is, she’ll probably still give you the opportunity to explain yourself and prove you’re worth keeping around. Now honestly, that’s a VERY weak woman–but we knew that already when you thought she was candidate enough to run game on and she continued to let you. That’s beside the point.

Woman are going to hold whatever role you give them with pride. That means she’s going to want to shout it to the world (even if you trick her into that whole ‘keep this between us’ crap).

It’s actually kind of sad because that doesn’t only include the women who holds the good titles whom you ultimately leave looking like a fool. That includes miss sidechick, fxck buddy, FWB, and those girls who are involved in situationships that you’ve bamboozled into thinking that they’re the only girl you’re sleeping with.

I am always telling women not to defend you guys when they find out about the other woman and ESPECIALLY not to get mad at the woman they find out about because she was only comfortable with and felt entitled to whatever role you gave her because you made her feel that way. More over, keep in mind that if you’ve got a good girl and you’re still feeling the need to mess with trash on the side… you’re absolutely an idiot.

The minute sidegirl feels threatened, she’s going to do whatever it is she can to mess things up between you and your girl. Then, she’s going to demand that she be your girl and that you treat her better. Finally, when she realizes that she was just a piece of ass and won’t ever amount to the girl she made you lose, you’ll end up losing both of them when all you had to do was be faithful.

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone and more importantly, another man’s trash is another man’s treasure. The real pain doesn’t occur until you see her happier with someone else–someone that genuinely appreciates her–than she was with you. Don’t be stupid.

I’m normally on your side when it comes to how confusing us women can be, but this is one of the very reasons we can be so confusing at times. As I’ve told you before, communication is key. Tell her the truth. If you know it’s not what she’s going to want to hear, hopefully she’s smart enough to rid herself of you or at least of the confusing situation between you two.

Sorry, not sorry. It’s time to grow up gents. If you can’t speak the truth, don’t speak. And honestly, with the breed of ladies out there these days, you’re bound to find the girl who is willing to be whatever it is you’re asking for, but don’t take advantage of the women who do value themselves and want something out of a relationship other than casual sex and lies.

Man up. Speak up. And if you know you’ve been doing wrong–f*cking stop. I’m still rooting for you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Adulting is hard AF… we might as well figure it out together.

Keep up with Isis on Instagram, Twitter and

More From Thought Catalog