5 Little Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Talkative Introvert

jessica day eating breakfast
New Girl

You can talk forever about something or someone you’re passionate about.

When a person is labeled as an introvert, usually it is assumed that they hardly talk. Introverts are notorious for being the “quiet ones”, but not all introverts are alike in this way. They’ll be minding their own business, exhibiting their typical introverted tendencies like avoiding eye contact and sitting back observing the scene when they hear you mention a country that they’re dying to visit, an artist they adore that they thought nobody else listened to, or a stance on a social issue that picked at their brain, and suddenly it seems like a whole other person has taken over their being. Sure, it might be less likely for you to see an introvert rambling on and on, but if you’re dealing with a talkative introvert, all it takes is for you to mention something of interest to them, something they are passionate about, and you might end up actually mistaking them for being extroverted!

Small talk is the death of you.

It doesn’t matter where you fall on the scale of introversion, if you’re an introvert of any sort, it takes energy to engage socially. Since we are so good at keeping up an interesting conversation about the things we are passionate about, people get thrown off by our inability to engage in “small talk”. Our social skills seem to drop from a ten to a negative twelve really quick and it doesn’t seem to make much sense to most people. People don’t realize that it doesn’t take much “social skill” to engage in a topic you are already interested in. You just say what you feel; passion comes naturally. Small talk is calculated. It’s about asking the right questions, giving the right answers, and smiling or laughing at the right time- even if there is absolutely nothing pleasant or funny at all. To be good at small talk, you have to be really good at pretending to care, and for any introvert, pretending to care just really isn’t a forte. Small talk requires a level of energy and social skill that introverts for the most part don’t have.

Sometimes there is so much you want to say, but you physically can’t.

The best example I can think of for this is sitting in class during a discussion. The topic is something that interests you, your mind is flooded with ideas, everybody is engaging and raising their hand to have a turn to speak and you know exactly what you want to say, you know you’ll probably blow the minds of everybody in the room, but you can’t work up the courage to raise your hand. The thought of everybody watching you while you speak is too much. Talkative introverts struggle with this internal battle on a daily basis. We want to talk, we want to engage, and we enjoy doing so, but we are constantly trying to fight off the the side of us that is afraid of the spotlight and drawing too much attention.

One on one interactions are essential.

Talkative introverts are complicated. They like social interaction, but only the right kind of social interaction. That is why one on one time is their best friend, because one on one interactions make way for deeper, more meaningful conversations, satisfying their need for social interaction without having to endure the torture of small talk or too much attention. Even though sometimes a good conversation can be sparked up at a party or group setting, its hard to keep the conversation going. More and more people always end up joining and it just never ends up going the way it was hoped to go. But grabbing a bite to eat or driving somewhere with one person will reveal a different and pleasantly surprising side to the talkative introvert. Since they will talk up a storm about something they are passionate about or interested in, they prefer to be in a setting where they can get lost in conversation with somebody. No distractions, no small talk. They are the type of people who come out of their shell when it is just the two of you.

You shut down randomly after being social for an extended period of time.

Like any introvert, talkative ones still tend to lose energy being in social settings for extended periods of time. Talkative introverts probably identify best with a wind up toy. The right things will get them excited and social, but by definition they are still introverts. Social interaction is draining. It is not rare for one to suddenly retreat into their own bubble out of what seems to be nowhere. This is an attempt to re-charge. People often take it the wrong way, thinking that they are mad, annoyed, or offended by something. More often than not however, they are just mentally and physically tired. For the introvert that is not so talkative, behavior like this is expected. Nobody has ever really seen them any other way, so it can be a little concerning when the talkative turns to introvert, going from being completely engaged to turtle shell mode, but chances are it’s truly nothing personal. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

just a girl trying to better herself, to better the world.

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