No matter what anybody says, there doesn’t have to be a label for the feelings to be real. Saying goodbye to a relationship you were never in isn’t about grieving a title; it’s about grieving the loss of hope and somehow finding it again.

You have to let it hurt. Let yourself cry over him. Let yourself sleep in way too long to avoid thinking about anything. Let yourself sleep in his shirt because it still smells like him. Let yourself eat an entire carton of ice cream or a whole box of pizza- or both, just because. Don’t feel bad about it.

Let yourself skip out on working out to sulk in sadness on your living room couch watching back to back romantic dramas. Let yourself stay in for the weekend instead of going out with friends.

Let yourself vent to your friends non-stop about how much of an asshole he is, and about how much you love him anyway.

Let yourself stalk his Instagram. Let yourself check his Snapchat story every five minutes to see what he’s doing. Let yourself read through old text messages so you can try to decipher where it is everything went wrong. Let your mind run through all the possibilities of what it is you could have done wrong.

Let yourself look through old pictures of him that you took, pictures of the two of you together, and let yourself wish you were right back in that captured moment.

It doesn’t matter how long you knew each other, how long you guys talked, if you met his family or not, if he told his friends about you or not- it doesn’t matter if you never actually dated. You still had hope and losing hope hurts.

Wanting someone who doesn’t want you hurts. Accepting something you can’t change hurts. Let it hurt, then let it heal. 

You have to let it heal. Wake up extra early to make yourself an extravagant breakfast for one. Finally get around to doing the laundry you’ve been putting off, and make sure to wash his shirt with it too.

Wash your face and look at yourself in the mirror, notice how wonderful you are standing there. Let yourself feel beautiful because you are, not because he said so.

Put on makeup for the first time in a long time, maybe even do your hair. Be a little extra. Spend way too much time picking out an outfit for yourself. You don’t have to consider whether or not he’ll like it, just make sure you feel good in it.

Smile at everyone you see, lock eyes with the cute guy crossing the street. Give compliments. Accept compliments. Put yourself out there again. Take chances. Take back your confidence.

Delete his number. Unfollow him. It’s not petty, it’s necessary. Don’t check up on him every five minutes, and while you’re at it, don’t check up on anybody who doesn’t check up on you.

Blast your favorite songs and sing along to them. Play the songs he would always skip the loudest. Dance alone in your room, jam out in your car with the windows down and don’t pay any mind to what anybody around you thinks.

You spent so much time trying to mold yourself into his idea of perfection. You don’t have to do that anymore; you don’t have to do that ever.

Remind yourself that you are enough. Believe that you are enough. If someone does not want you, love yourself enough to walk away. Don’t waste precious time trying to change people’s minds. Don’t wait for somebody to want you. Want yourself.