There are very few loves in your life that will always stay with you. Some people are lucky to find their forever with the first person they fall in love with, and some never truly find it at all. If I’m honest, I’m not sure which one has it better.
When you first fall in love, you feel all kinds of emotions. The truth is, you never really know you are falling in love until it happens. Maybe that’s why they call it falling and not jumping. We don’t choose who we love, no matter how hard we want to. There could be thousands of people out there that could be better for us. They may be kinder, funnier, and more attractive, but the truth is, none of them will match up to the person you are in love with.
Our first loves are those who truly stay with us for the rest of our lives. I’m not invalidating everyone who comes after by no means. After all, the average person falls in love around four times in their life. This doesn’t even include every almost, every date, or every crush. We may end up with any one of them. We could end up with the first, the last, or even both. After all, 55% of people fall in love for the first time between 15 and 18. But that still leaves 45% left to find that afterwards. It doesn’t matter when that person enters your life, though, because when you know, you know. You will never stop remembering them because it was exciting. Realizing you’re in love for the first time is a thrill.
The truth is, our first loves are our first learning curves. You begin to learn who you are. Everyone has this vision of who they are and who they believe they are to other people, but until you have someone who loves you, you never truly get to see yourself through somebody else’s eyes. It is also a world of firsts. Through these firsts, you also get to discover who you are outside of what you’ve grown up in and your comfort zone. These firsts can come in a multitude of different topics. For some, the first is as simple as holding hands or meeting the parents, while for others, the first is discovering your sexuality and your preferences. These firsts are milestones in your life, no matter how big or small, so having them with your first love is bound to make you remember. You may experience it all with new partners, but it will not mean as much as when it’s brand new.
But there are two sides to your first love. With your first love comes your first heartbreak. It shows you that not all love stays. That love can end. The sad truth is that love will never be enough. It isn’t like it is in movies, TV shows, or songs. You may have known that not every love is destined to work out, but you never truly accept it until you find yourself in that exact situation. You may always have love for this person, and when you do love someone, that that never truly goes away. Unfortunately, love isn’t all that’s needed for the relationship to work out.
Your first love can give you a negative view on what’s to come. For a while, it might make you afraid of leaving them, and when you do leave them, you become afraid of being in the same situation with someone new. You will not be the first and you will not be the last when it comes to taking a break. Stay single and figure out yourself. However, when you do get back in the saddle, be aware that you will compare everyone to them. You will compare the small and the big, from the way they greet you to the way they show their love. Everything will compare, at least for a while. You will find that the memories do not go away. They will always be there in the back of your mind. There will be random triggers that will remind you of the time you spent together, such as your favorite restaurant or the smell of their perfume.
The cold, harsh truth is that you will never truly be over your first love. They will always linger there. It was powerful and intense and your first experience of being part of something beyond just yourself. But it represents youth. It represents where you were when you were with them.
So, when you look back in 10 or even 50 years, your memories may appear differently than they did when life was easier. Not all first loves end by choice, but it happens for a reason. We never gain the closure we need from it. But what is important to remember is that it changed us. It shaped us into the person we are today. You can experience these things with someone new one day, but there will only ever be one first love.