7. My company is filled with them:
1. Maintenance and head of shop – can never correctly predict how long it will take him to finish anything. This is paramount because we charge by the hour but quote first and can’t charge for more hours after the fact (we can try but it doesn’t work). He gets yelled at every single day for fucking up in some way or another. At first I felt sorry for him but since I’ve noticed he makes no effort to change his ways whatsoever he is no longer pitied. Also, I’ve heard him blame other people not responsible for what he was blaming them for within earshot of said person. Also he lies, a lot. Our company will never fire him.
2. Sales guy who accompanies me on sales trips. He falls asleep in our meetings. Spaces out. About 90% of the time when he answers a question it is the perfect answer to fuck up the sale. He has no sense of marketing or salesmanship whatsoever. And he’s my supervisor.
3. Our head of sales – wanted us to set up a booth at a trade show. but instead of buying materials for the booth he wanted us (no joke) to ask a company we were partnered with if we could stand in their booth instead and tape a printed out sign with our name on it to their $10,000 booth backdrop. He was serious. This was his response to me suggesting we pay for an $600 free-standing sign for our booth.
8. We had an opening for a one-year contract employee to work with the other couple of guys who work under me. My boss hired a guy with a 10-page resume written in 6 point font without consulting me or bringing me in on the interview.
First day on the job he tells us all about his ongoing divorce and that his goal was to become a Vice President in our company in two years. He was a one-year contract low-level employee.
Second day on the job, he reveals to one of the other guys under me that his wife and her father both had restraining orders against him….and that both of them worked for our company, the father even being in our building. This led to instant security investigations and they let him stay somehow.
He never shut up. Like, seriously, talked all…day…long.
He wouldn’t get properly trained because he thought he knew everything and kept messing everything up.
He started blogging on our company’s internal social media site without permission. He was told by my boss to stop…he didn’t.
Was asked to train on drawing flowcharts in Powerpoint. Instead, he made a 12-page powerpoint done outlining his three-year communications plan for our giant multibillion dollar company, done in the official company template, and sent it out across the country to all sorts of higher ups….this naturally caused giant waves as everyone was like “What’s this new plan?” “What’s going on with the plan we had?!?”
Told me that he could type 300 words per minute!
Numerous other things. He was eventually fired at seven months into his contract. He was eating an ice cream cone when my boss came to fire him, and when asked to step into another office (to be fired), asked “Can I bring my ice cream?!?” Then after being fired, he came out, still licking the ice cream cone, and said “I just got fired.” The combo of his face with the ice cream cone was the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. And the first time I felt sorry for him.
Months after being fired, he got a new job and called my boss to ask what he could different at his new job to not get fired. My boss was like “I tried telling you for seven months what not to do.” and hung up on him.
– rsklsi
