26 People Reveal The Biggest Lies They Were Taught At School

Updated 11 years ago, May 24, 2014

We were taught a lot of lies growing up. You know, like I was taught that everyone had to raise their hands before asking permission to use the bathroom – or that cursive was something we’d be using often as adults. Bullshit. All of it. Check out more lies on this Reddit thread.

1. My phone is a calculator

“You won’t be walking around with a calculator in your pocket all the time.”

2. You think college is stupid, try real life

The idea that college is filled with smart people that followed all the rules in high school.

In reality, colleges are filled with retards.

3. And to this day, I still don’t know how George Washington crossed the Potomac with his Army-issued Jeep

“We can skip this part, you’ll learn more about it next year.”

“We can skip this part, you should have learned about it last year.”

4. So my chemistry exams will be all long response questions?

“They don’t give multiple choice exams in college,” says someone who has never had to correct exams for Econ 111 with 300+ students.

5. (It’s just a manilla folder with stuff your guidance counselor saved from art class)

This is going on your “permanent record.”

6. I’ve met adults that can’t even spell my name right, let alone write in cursive

Mother. Fucking. Cursive. Spend months in 2nd grade learning that shit because “That’s how people write when you get older.”

Only time I have used it is for my signature, which realistically is just a bunch of up and down lines.

7. OH THE HUMANITIES

I think this isn’t outright taught, but it’s implied. My schools were only structured for going to college. The idea of a vocational degree or an associates felt like it was frowned upon. Those of us who weren’t college bound were ignored. There were some programs but they seemed underfunded and weren’t suggested. They also seemed to be filled with the kids who were failing their core classes, like it was a last hope. I ended up going to college, and I don’t exactly regret it. But I feel like if other options weren’t shamed I would have seriously considered them. I love working with my hands and ended up doing art.

8. Until he conquered America for his own vision — get Ohio to name a city after him

Christopher Columbus was an alright guy.

9. You can’t map out a tongue, that’s just silly

The motherfucking tongue map.

Seriously, “Only the tip of your tongue tastes ‘sweet’ foods, and only the back can taste ‘bitter'”??? I guarantee almost everyone in this thread saw the tongue map in a textbook at some point in their life, and it is scientifically proven to be 100% bullshit – yet somehow it’s taught in science class.

I think it was based on some dodgy diagram in a German research paper from the 1900s that has subsequently been proven false over and over again, but because we live in bizarro-world we have decided that a lie about tongues is a valuable part of a child’s scientific education.

10. Don’t smoke the marijuana

That recreational drugs are LITERALLY the worst thing ever and will kill you immediately 100% of the time.

11. Don’t be condescending, Mrs. Peters. You’re teaching second grade

“If you can’t handle [insert grade] wait until you get to [insert next grade]. It’s so much harder!…”

It never got harder.

12. I’ve gotten this a lot

The first word of a sentence can’t be because.

13. Spend $120 on a textbook you will use three times (at most) and then shove in the back of your drawer

You will need to buy this textbook.

14. Hahahaha…ha…ha…

That if you’re 1 minute late to work once every now and then you will lose your job. Nope.

15. Once you realize, you’re done

That the ultimate goal is to get a 9-5 job. Get good grades in high school, get into a good college, get a high GPA.. all for what?! To land possibly the shittiest lifestyle known to man. Our whole lives we live each day differently (staggered class schedules, dynamic days).. literally from elementary school through graduate school, then all of a sudden we get thrown into the most mundane, repetitive lifestyle that we’ve been working toward yet never truly preparing for.

16. Einstein was a genius

A lot of teachers tell you that Albert Einstein failed out of math when that’s completely untrue. The guy was a genius, stop discrediting him so you can feel better about being bad at math.

17. This is what creates social anxiety

In high school, you have to raise your hand to go the bathroom.

“I’m just prepping you for college. You’re not going to be able to just come and go from class as you please.”

18. If someone hits you, you hit them back

That it’s not okay to defend yourself. So if someone comes up to you and starts pounding on you, you’re supposed to either stand there, or you’re supposed to run.

19. You don’t

You must go to college to be successful.

20. Whoever said this is an asshole and a sociopath

“Student Loans are nothing to worry about and you can pay them off in no time.”

21. Would’ve been great to have been taught these during high school

The biggest are the lies of omission:

They teach nothing about paying taxes or filing taxes or how much you’ll pay in taxes (county, city, state, property, sales taxes, others)

Nothing about buying a home or mortgages or your credit rating

Nothing about how to manage your retirement account

Nothing about managing a personal budget, or a family budget, or a household budget

Nothing about the variety of financial accounts you’ll want or need

Nothing about the dangers of revolving credit or debt or interest rates or how to bank

Nothing that will teach you personal responsibility of your finances

They basically create lemmings for the bankers & IRS to suck dry for their entire lives.